Catching Up -- Five Friday

I fell off a giant cliff near my school and am just now getting back to normal from the horrific accident.

No, that's not true at all, you silly cats and hood rats.
I'm just busy. & (slightly) lazy. & formerly sick with some crazy unknown illness that's really no more serious than just the common cold.

I am BACK for a bit, though, to catch you up on the not-so-cool things going on in the world of SS. My students sit silently taking a standardized test (draft writing, my bad!), so my downtime is great and I am lah-ving it! Here's a quick (or not so quick) Five Friday for you, random updates edition!


1. First things first, this weekend is St. Patrick's Day and I may look more Irish than I really am, but damnit, I celebrate like a champ. The downtown festivities cannot be missed and the weather is proving to be quite charming and lovely for a wonderful time of outdoor day drinking.....BUT what to wear, one might ask? Well, I have been searching far & wide for the perrrfect pair of green jeans. "A pop of color by way of denim is so in right now, SS, how easy for you!" -- HAH, I laugh at your naivety, because the only jeans I could find were mint, teal, turquoise, sea foam, or just about any shade of green aside from IRISH green. That is until I walked into Old Navy post-workout one night out of sheer bordem (or sheer panic of needing green jeans). LAST pair of true green pants that exist on the planet...and they were on the mannequin. Nuh-uh, SS ain't havin' that! I promptly turned into "that girl" and asked one of the employees if I could de-pants their female model. She didn't seem fazed at all--helpful even!--to endure the awkward task. Once I had the pants in my hand, I thanked her kindly for her de-robing skills and also apologized for being "that girl" (which makes you even more so "that girl") -- air quotes over. Green pants found. Let the drinking commence! (tomorrow, that is....) I leave you with not a photo of new skinny pants (sort of self-explanatory) but a recipe for a grrrrreast Irish beverage that sounds disgusting but you need to taste it to believe the magic. Fo' reals. If my one sistahh is reading, she'll be proud I posted this!

IRISH BREAKFAST SHOT -- If you do it correctly, the finishing taste is exactly like pancakes...wild!
1. In one shot glass, pour two counts of any whiskey and one count of butterscotch schnapps.
2. In another shot glass, pour in some good ol' orange juice.
3. Take the first shot and immediately follow with the second.
4. Let the pancake taste fill your mouth with joy.
.......you're welcome ;)

2. Second things second, I have a new baby! She's adorable, really, and although I've dressed her in the one color I hate most (pink), she still somehow shines and sparkles like a true superficial piece of technology after my own heart.

{awkward crooked photo much? sorry.....}

I know, I know, the "newww" iPad is coming out THIS Friday (aka today), but why not jump on this deal?! The iPad 2 is now $100 cheaper and the "newww" iPad has grrreat specs and all, but I don't need all that mumbo-jumbo schtuff when the 2 is just as cute. Done deal. I went up a bit in SSB's book for owning one. What a loser techy he is!

3. On the topic of technology, I have been bah-bah-busy with stuff at school...but mostly outside of my own classroom. Seniors are starting to get hellishly sick with something I can only find to be LAZINESS, but they have some cutesy name called "senioritis" -- I mean, I had it too....but for four years of college, so it was entirely different....and entirely warranted! Oh, right, technology. Well, in the midst of all the cray-cray going on, THIS happened.....

MAN DOWN. MAN. DOWN.

...and I cried.

...and I called SSB.

...and I got a new phone/case the same day.

...and all was right with the world again.
(if you're like me & want durability without buying an Otterbox, buy a SPECK case!)

4. Can I make a shout-out now? To one of my dearest blogging pals, The Procrastinator! I was out shopping at Marshall's to find a yoga towel (ok, to find just about anything cute) when I came across a makeup item she recommended to me a few months back. & WOAH, honey child, I lahhhhve it dearly. I dare not leave you in suspense any longer....
Enter: The Balm Products
I found not ONE, not TWO, but THREE different sets from The Balm and I just could not decide....so I picked up all three. Then, a small voice (or my friend) told me I was being irrational considering two of the sets had very similar products. I let my better thoughts win out and purchased only two. Life-savers, I tell ya! The products include.....(sorry no personal photos of post-purchase packages since I ripped into those bad boys faster than La-Lohan gets outta jail!)

If you do not have any of their products yet, you MUST scope them out ASAP. The packaging alone suckered me in before the inner genius in me screamed and said, "THIS is what The Procastinator was talking about!"
The products I purchased are two blushes (Hot Mama & Frat Boy), a shine powder (Sexy Mama), and a mini kabuki brush (sooo soft!) -- the BEST of the bunch (and the reason I freaked out) was the Bahama Mama Bronzer...so fab, I love it a ridiculous amount!
If you are not already following The Procrastinator's posts, you're missing out, dear readers! Go check her out immediately. Seriously....go.

5.I leave you with just ONE teacher rant story to end this hodge-podge-fodge post!
Male Student: Miss Smith, I wanted to ask you something, but really do not want you to be mad at me.
Me: Ok, well opening with that line never ends well, soo.....
Male Student: But Miss Smith, I'm one of the best in this class, and I really need your help!
Me: Ok, ok, shoot....
Male Student: I am entering a local radio contest to win VanHalen tickets. Soooo....
Me: Ok, spit it out, class is starting...
Male Student: Well you only win the contest if you enter a photo of your teacher while they're teaching.
Me: That doesn't make any sense!....I'm not a fan but I know that's not how their hit song goes...
Male Student: Uhhh, well this is awkward now. It is a hot teacher contest.
Me: Sit down, it's not happening.
Male Student: (whispering to classmate as he walks away) I'll just get the photo when she isn't paying attention.
Me: I heard that.
Male Student: Shit.
....and scene. All in a day's work of educating our youth....on what you should never ask your teacher. (PS the actual radio contest is not a real teacher contest...just for people to dress up like slore-bags and pretend to play hot teacher for a couple snapshots. I meeeean, I don't play pretend anymore, kitty cats, those days are past me, thank you very much....I don't pretend to play the bitch teacher anymore, I just am her!)


I am so sorry for straying from the SS scene as of late. Promises to do better, but promises are empty, soooo I'll just go ahead and say I'll see ya when I see ya next ;) --which WILL be soon!
RANDOM FINISHING NOTE: Listen to Gotye's "Somebody I Used To Know" and let your ears jump with melodic joy. It's good. SO. good.

Until next time, I hope you have all been doing faaabulously in your own lives.........

The Day AFTER a Red Carpet.......

......everyone becomes a critic!

I am here today to only talk about the dresses I adored, though, and will leave out the ones I could have done without. WHAT is our fashion/celebrity world coming to when there was not a single dress I completely despised? Sure, I didn't love all of the looks, but I never once had to gag or spit out of my drink in shock of someone..........

unless you count Ryan Seacrest getting ashed by the Dictator. Yowza......

{More so than the Dictator, I couldn't stand the bitches next to him....

they looked like they had sticks up their asses and their makeup just

highlighted their botox and overtanned skin. YIKES!}

First and foremost, though, all ashes aside, here is my FAVORITE look of the night.......

Jessica Chastain

{She looked amazing. Her hair and jewelry and skintone matched the dress perfectly. I may be biased because it's an Alexander McQueen gown and it was custom-made by Sarah Burton (win-win-win-wiiiin), but no one can deny this look is flawless. If you don't agree, I really don't know if we can continue being friends in this way. Jessica killed it with edge in a sea of dresses that, while great, were not "wow" factors for me.}

My girl, as always, did a fantastic job. I loved her little stint on the stage while presenting more, though. COULD she be any cuter? I think not. Girl crush established. She is just too flipping cool.

Emma Stone

{I didn't love the dress at first but after a bit of time seeing it on her more and more, it grew on me fast. I think it helped that her hair looked great, too. Had she worn it down or even half-up, it would have killed the look for me. Thankfully, mah girl knows what's up and pulled out a show-stopppaahh!}

Other greats looks include some one-shoulder bizzznisss.....

Stacy Keibler, Milla Jovovich, Rose Byrne

Fiiinne, I'll admit this just once...Stacy is an attractive broad. Done. She doesn't need more compliments...she has Georgy freaking Clooney on her arm. 

Milla looks fabulous pairing her red lip to a white/cream gown...old Hollywood meets a bit of edge (simply because it is Mila!)

Rose Byrne's sleek hair with the sequined gown and open back just exuded class with sass...the best of both worlds! (Still not better than her jumpsuit, though, loved that look).

Who were some of your favorites? Did you have any that you completely hated? I really wanted to like Shailene Woodley's dress, but it just didn't work for me. Great dress....just not for her. HUGE, huge improvement from her SAG Awards disaster dress, though! 

Also, Angelina....just stop. You're making EVERYONE look bad. Seriously. Stop the madness.

All of the Bridemaids looked pretty darn good. I didn't love all of their looks, but I can't deny that they looked polished and put together and showed effort in their overall appearance. Kudos!

Until next time, I am sad to see awards season go, but at least it stops making the rest of us look that much worse in comparison to Hollywood Elite..........................................

Love's Hangover Remedy

Even though your Valentine's Day roses are already wilting and your heart-shaped candy box has been in the trash since, oh, 9:30am last Wednesday (I don't judge), the love is still in the air....and it's only proper for a blogger to grab that air, breathe it in.....and then write about it.

Or do her best to show said love in black & white photos of only the hottest pieces of ass in town!....or, uh, in LA town, not this town, as I'm usually surrounded by 16-18 year olds who think they are hot but are actually small, small babies with even smaller maturities.

I am not usually one to gush over celebrities, because I have class, dignity, and am in a loving relationship with SSB.
Unless you count John Mayer. I've lost all class when it comes to dishing about this piece of meat. Too bad he's a huge bag of douche now....still hot, though.


WHO else is hot in my eyes? (but not as hot as SSB, in the off chance he is reading this!!) WELL, I will show you....in black & white photos. Everyone looks better in black & white and men look sexier in black & white, so let's get down to biznizz! 
WARNING: With this post, I have claimed stake to all of the following gentlemen. If, at any time, they become available for you to date, please inform them that you will be unable to accept their loving gesture because I, SS bitch, have already called dibs.....so send them my way, if you would be so kind ;)

1. James Dean (claiming him for the after-life, clearly) -- WHAT a stud. The start of all studs. He made it possible for men like James Franco, Johnny Depp and Justin Bobby (of The Hills fame) to look dirty and somehow still have ridiculous sex appeal. Applause are neccessary for this fine ass.

2. Joseph Gordon-Levitt -- I meeeeean, does this need justification? No. It really doesn't. This man is near perfection, end of story. Sings, acts, dresses well, acts like a gentlemen, stars in romantic movies and blockbusters (like the upcoming Batman). So yes, he is our closest human being to perfection. Smell it, take him in, he's a breathe of perfect summer air (see what I did there?!)

3. Andrew Garfield -- Okay, I really do need to claim stake on this one, as he isn't huge yet but will be soon enough....once his Spiderman movie comes out. He has great taste in women, too, because his arm candy is none other than my girl crush, Emma Stone. Well played, hunky hunk, well played!

4. Paul Rudd -- Call me unconventional here, but he has some odd quirk that I really enjoy (that's what she said). His humor is dry, his hair is dark, and his smile is just that adorable smirk that makes you wonder if he's an asshole or if he just is laughing at the rest of us for being schmucks & suckers to his charm. Ado-able....I mean adorable!

 

Other notable men include: John Mayer (bears repeating!), Ryan Gosling (obvious), Robert Pattinson (vampire love), and the classic stylings of George Clooney (gold medal for silver fox status). Yummo in my tummo of man love!

Let it be known that I do not condone the behavior of treating people like meat. After all, Johnny Depp said it best in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory. "....even I am eat-able, but that is considered cannibalism and is frowned upon in most countries." BOOM!
Really, though, I mean this all in good fun. SSB is an asshole, but in the most loving way possible.
& sure, these men are fantastic, but I obviously do not want to come across like a woman who charges after men like a starved panther. That's just wrong.....and I'm much more like a calm barracuda, just ask SSB!
For more man candy, though, follow my boards on Pinterest -- woot, woot!

Until next time, share your man candy with me so we can all drool.....................

Haulin' Whore

Happy Monday to you! It is a happy Monday simply because the kiddos are not here, we have a nearly full free day to get ahead on lessons, grades, and the like. What am I doing with said free time, though? Well I took an hour in the moring to do grades......and then I hung up new posters and am now writing this here post. Yep. That's what teachers who are ahead do. That's what teachers who do work on the weekends do. That's what cool teachers do.

{New Posters = gotta inspire the students, ya know?

Well, at least it makes the room look cute....}

I spent the weekend having a girl-tastic time with my pal while her hubs was out of town and SSB was working like a dawwg. We had to fit in some shopping, so naturally I spent money I don't have on things I don't need. How fabulous. Let's take a peak, shall we?

(Sorry, I used online photos because I'm at work and wasn't proactive about taking these photos last night because I was still hungover from the weekend....my bad, yo. Really, these photos look wah-ayy better than any photos I would take, too. I need a Photo 101 class, fo reals.)

--Well, I went ahead and bought a new accesory for my arm. My old MBMJ watch was great, but this gal wanted something new. Enter this baby. I already have my eyes on yet another one, soooo maybe I'll go for that when spring/summer rolls around.....I have issues.

{I just found out yesterday the inside dials actually do work. Bonus

...even though I don't really know what their purpose is....}

--Forever21 is that place where I could go in knowing very well I need nothing and leave with practically everything. I limited myself this time around, but sheesh, it's a vaccuum in there, sucking you into buying just about anything your eye catches.....aside from the bedazzled crop tops. Yowza....
**Leather Vest with Studs - Neccessary. I don't know why it is, but it is. & I f*cking love it.
**Feather Dress - Perfect for work with a blazer. Bring on the spring colors!
**Fur Vest & Belt - I've been needing a fuller, longer vest and had to buy a belt to match, obvi. (Imagine the image without the buckles. Go figure, F21's site didn't have my exact vest, but this looks identical aside from the built-in buckles.)

{I love how the studs (vest #1) are subtle but still stand out, but

I detached the belt that just hangs there....not my favorite.}

--My pal needed to return something to Aldo, so naturally, I browsed while she did so. She actually doesn't like these shoes (claims they are "growing on her") but I just needed to have them despite her friendy advice. I wore them out that night and they are way more fun than I originally thought. I dig 'em. You may not. In the words of this same pal, "that's what makes the world go 'round."

{Have you ever seen a pointed toe booty?

probably not. which is why these are badass.}

I leave you with a photo of me and SSB from daaa bar on Saturday. Of course I rocked my new studded vest, even though you can't see it very well in the photo. Hair is looking slightly blonder and will be even more true-blonde when my next appointment rolls around in two weeks. Woot woot!

{I swear this is one of the first times I

did something to my hair in fo'eva.}

Until next time, I'm off to act like a real teacher.....maybe make a seating chart or two. You know, so my seniors can just ignore it in a less than a week. Awesome...........

Animal Prints....Literally.

Now I love a great animal print as much as the next feline, considering I just replaced the drab black laptop bag given to us by the school with a faaaabulous find from TJ Maxx's with a nice, subtle cheetah print (can that be subtle?!) Well, it needed to be done. I have a reputation to uphold. Liiiike, the one where I look like the joke because I'm a five foot blonde who actually takes time in the morning to look nice as opposed to the real jokes who take no time at all?! Yeah, the world doesn't make sense to me, either, hunny!

Seriously, though, what I am lah-ving even more at the moment are animal prints in the literal sense. Take a great blouse, add some birds, horses, or what have you....and I'm sold. Let's disect this fashion trend, shall we?

1. I saw this top while shopping for new teacher clothesat Old Navy and I instantly thought, "I must have this naowww!" Add a great pair of fitted trousers or even paired under a great maxi and I just became a very trendy teacher. My obsession with birds & feathers may never be explained, so why not feed the affinity with a great top?! ($35)

2. If I were to see a snail in the flesh (er, shell), I would probably tither away in panic. Seeing snails on this Anthro tank, though, changes everything! It comes in pink, too, but the navy color with the white snails makes it ever-so-slightly nautical, which is (always) in for spring. Matched with skinnies and a matching smoker's flat & I could dress professionally--but still stay trendy--on casual Fridays! ($118)

3. If you love this from first glance, you better buy it fast. It came out last fall and is now on sale for $90 online at Nordstrom. It's a great statement piece for any closet and can be worn a number of ways, whether it is with a belted cardigan, camel leather jacket, or just with flats for a casual look. Who doesn't love a great panther print, honestly?! ($90)

4. Even though winter seems to just be starting here, let's not forget the fact January is almost over! Bring out your sunny, spring side with this top from Forever21. Add jeans and tall black riding boots for a casual look, or trying adding skinny black leather pants for a fun happy hour outfit. H&M has great ones right now, so check them out! ($23)

What are some of the prints you are wearing right now? Will you go out & grab this trend or ignore it & pray it goes away? It's got a bit of a girly-vintage-preppy mix to it, so I feel as though every style could find a literal animal print to enjoy!


Until next time, farewell birds..............................

The First Step To {Superficial} Recovery

.....let's just be clear, I do not have a problem. SSB will be the first to say I do, but it's really a hobby, a passion, a mere interest. It doesn't threaten my well-being....just my wallet.

If something can have an accessory, I feel it is my civil duty as a genuinely superficial person to give it that added extra touch of love.

No, I don't own a bedazzler.
Rhinestones make me vomit.

However, my iPhone is less than a year old & has been through five phone cases.
I just bought a Nook and had to buy it a cover and an adorable reading light...you know, in case I read in the dark (which SSB quickly pointed out....I'm never in the dark.) The light was necessary, though, just in case I find myself in the dark.....JUST in case, people!
I bought my keys small gems (posted in a photo here) just because having one key just didn't justify the cuteness of my new car. Yeah, I went there. That key couldn't be lonely, that's just rude!

So yes, it isn't a problem, so there's no need to recover from it. Here are some other things in the accessory depart that I am lahhh-ving right now...for accessorizing myself & the things around me that--you know--need love, too!

1. This is the cover I picked for my new Nook (and I'm currently reading Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children) -- love anything that looks like a notebook. It was this or a Kate Spade cover...but it was $60 and I just wasn't swinging that when the one I chose was half of that!

2. WHEN (not if) I get the next iPad (SSB's ears are burning somewhere), I will buy this case. I want a case that is more like a Nook cover. I like the sleeves and all that MBMJ & Michael Kors make, but I would much rather have a constant case covering the back, just like I like my iPhone. The patent blue is fierce in my opinion!

3. This watch. Love a dual-tone watch & also love rose gold. I also love that it is NOT a tortoise Michael Kors watch that is literally on everyone's wrists these days! I really must have this. (There goes that so-called "problem" talking again.....)

4. I love having little things here & there in my classroom and on my desk and I love what B&N has to offer in the way of office accessories. How cute are these bookends?! One can never have too many bookends simply because one can never have too many books! (Nerd alert.)

What do YOU love to accessorize? Please fill me in! Obviously I will not buy all of these as reality usually sinks in (or just SSB's voice) and tells me I do not need bookends in multiple amounts or an iPad case when the newest iPad hasn't even been (officially) announced yet..........
..........Fiiiiiiine. Maybe I do have a problem. The first step is admitting it. The second? Feeding it, keeping it ALIIIIVE (cue Frankenstein voice). Screw youuuuu, SSB, leave me and my well-accesorized life alone! (Just kidding, just kidding!!)


Until next time, I'm off to go and look for a new phone case (kidding...sort of)............

Howww Pinnnteresting, Dahhhhling....

I never jumped on the "Pinteresting Wednesday" bandwagon (however fashionably conscious that bandwagon may be!)....want proof? I'm not even linking this up...I'm just posting my recent pins. Does that make me a bitch? I rah-leeeely hope not. You're more than welcome to consider me lazy from it, though, that's entirely understandable and justified! (Sorry I'm not sorry?!)

As of late, here's what I've been pining (or pinning) after.....HAH so witty, how can you stand it?!

{I bought a set of 8 prints that are all Andy Warhol, in eight different colors, with eight different quotes..this is an example of one of them. My classroom could always use more color & I love having quotes for the kiddos to read and ponder. Yeah, I'm that teacher. Plus, Warhol is a native to my hometown, gotta represent!}

{Reese. I mean, can you get any prettier? I just wrote about her in my Globes post, but this photo bears a repeat of how awesome Miss Witherspoon truly is. Love the sweater/scarf combo, her makeup, her hair, gahhh, she makes me jealous! Why did I ever stray from my blonde strands?! Thank gawwwd they are slowly coming back!}

{This outfit really grabbed my attention and I can't even put my finger on as to why. She looks like a million bucks but also looks like she took little to no time to prepare the ensemble...that skirt even looks like a crappy fabric in the second photo, but a geeenius crappy fabric! I just love the chic-meets-edgy feel to it; I try to emulate that in my own style....if only I had oodles of money to make it easier! }

{I need this scarf in my life. Why have the original McQueen creation when you can go ahead and make a louder statement with a (in my opinion) much cooler skull print where they look like straight punks?! Who wants to give me $555 for it?! Any takers?!......Damnit.}

{I've been looking for a bangle I can add to my everyday arm party.....this one says it all. It's so perfect. I need to get to the closest Urban Outfitters and fast. Actually, I think it's only sold online. Cha-ching goes the register, boo-hoo goes my wallet.}



{Leather leggings/pants with a demin/chambray shirt? YES to all of the above, please! So badass but still so stylish and chic. I can't even take how much I love this look. Thanks to my friend for finding this photo first. Uhhhh, you know who you are biaaa!}

I have pinned much more but those are some of the ones I chose to share with all of you lah-vely readers ;) Share some of your pins....or better, leave your pinterest name in the comments so I can stalk what you're pining (errr, pinning!) after these days. HAH again, so witty. Sorry, I'm done now.....

Follow me here on Pinterest!

Until next time, happy pinning and happy Wednesday-humptastic-day!............

First Haul of 2012

Yay, Happy New Year & all that jazz!

It's back to work tomorrow after a too-short break away from the kiddos, so I thought I'd help the wounds by shopping. Apparently, everyone else in my town thought the same.....woof.

I headed to Victoria's Secret for their semi-annual sale before going to Old Navy and Ulta. A mini spree, yes, but I'm still stoked about the goods!

Shall we just skip the VS portion of the shopping trip? I think so...
Oh, and let's forget the fact that I lost my camera cord and had to take these with my trusty iPhone.

OLD NAVY
Striped Sweater -- Not entirely sure what drew me in about this seeing as how it is bright and has stripes, but nevertheless, I love it now. A bit of nautical, a bit of prep, perfect for work!
Twisted Neck Top -- I picked it up merely because it was cheap, but the effect of the "twist" around the neckline is really cute, and again, stripes! Sensing a pattern....no pun intended.
Bobble Bottle -- Thanks to my blogging buddy AlmostBritain for telling me about these! I will (hopefully) be able to keep h2o bottles out of my car by using this bad boy which filters the water for you. Woot woot! Found it by the check-out at ON, couldn't resist!

ULTA
*Thanks to my dear, dear friend in FL who got me an Ulta giftcard for Christmas. She just knows me, that one!!*
Urban Decay 24/7 Liner in Zero -- Finally! I got one! I went to see if they had the NAKED liner set from the holidays, but alas, it was sold out. Bummer. Still, I knew I needed to add one of these bad boys to my arsenal and the one I picked up was the last Zero, so it was really fate calling out to me. Obviously.
Mario Badescu Drying Lotion -- Have used this before but was bone dry on my last bottle. I am slightly addicted to this stuff even though my skin problems are (usually) non-existent. This stuff works, though, for those "ahhhh" moments around the time of the month.
Revlon Lip Butter in Raspberry Pie -- (Another) finally! I have been looking for these everywhere and could never find them. I was entirely unsure of what color to get, but this raspberry hue looks rich and perfect for the winter months. I may have to review this bad boy, more to come perhaps.
Sally Hansen Salon Effects in Love Letter -- Could not pass this "color" up when I saw it; very newspaper nails but without the work/mess! Clearly anything that looks like it took time but didn't is a winner in my lazy-ass book.
Urban Decay Mini De-Slick Setting Spray -- Running low on my "All-Nighter" spray and thought I'd give "De-Slick" another chance. I could use some oil control as of late so hopefully this work better than the classic spray.

There you have it, a haul to start off the new year right! As a side note, you should definitely hit up your nearest VS for their semi-annual sale. Ridiculously good deals! I got eight items for $100....and let's be real, ladies, most bras there retail for at least $75 -- and who doesn't love a great sale?!


Until next time, I hope your new year is also starting off wonderfully............

Five Friday - Resolutions!

Now that we've moved through Christmas and are SO very close to 2012, I thought I'd do a Five Friday of the resolution variety...you know, those things we all say we will totally do...and before the calendar even reaches the middle of January, we've already failed.

Admit it, we all do this.

Admit it, we all don't really care.

Well, this year, I do. Sort of. Kind of....I mean, I'm going to try!

2012 Resolutions! (Sort of....)

1. Fit into my bridesmaid's dress. No, this is not a strict, LOSE WEIGHT CHUNKER (whooo you callin' chunker?!) resolution, but rather, I need to tone my ass up (or really, my tum tum) before the wedding. It's in May. Calling all Richard Simmons, Jillian Michaels, and Tracey Andersons.....give me your best shot, I'll do my best not to cry in the shower after.

{"she'll never forgive me for skipping those crunches, 

did you hear the way she was screaming at me?!"}

2. ALWAYS eat breakfast. I know, they say a Starbucks latte every morning is not a breakfast meal, but it is to me...or has been for a solid two years now. I eat breakfast on the weekend....sometimes. I need to go out and buy some good "grab and go" breakfast items, so let me hear your healthiest favorites! I can microwave it at work if need be, too, so what is your favorite quick meal?

{starbucks still has to be a part of my "balanced" breakfast....}

3. Keep my car clear of h2o bottles. Yeah, it sounds like a pathetic resolution, but you have probably not seen the passenger floor of my car, it's a disaster zone with half-filled bottles....and lots of them. Seeing as how I have myself a NEW CAR (said in my best Price is Right voice), I think I should kill it with the white trash bottle look and keep my new whip looking fly & fresh.

{i want to say i feel like a straight ganstahh in it, but it's more girly than 

anything - lighted speakers & hands-free controls, though, baboom! 

oh & my keys will never be bulkier that that, hate that look!}

4. Drink TWO bottles of h2o everyday. Hahahahaha I laugh at my audacity to state such a bold thing. Again, another sorry excuse for a resolution, but I am a terrible water drinker. I just don't like the stuff! However, I know it's absurd of me to not drink it, so I plan on making it taste good at least....you know, get rid of that, ugh, water taste. It's awful, really. However, if I can pull off this resolution, then maybe #3 won't be so hard to overcome, too! Genius, I tell you!

{should I just add these to my water, are they any good?!}

5. Actually keep my above resolutions. Hey, go with me on this one. If I follow this resolution, then I just followed every other resolution on my list. It's double the guilt if I make this resolution and don't follow through with the others, sooooo hopefully this one results in my (sort of) resolutions becoming a (definite) reality. Right? RIGHT?! Well, we'll see......

{classic.}

There you have it, my Five Friday -- resolution style! I hope you all realize these are not truly my big goals of 2012, but a list of things that are absurd and easily fixable and prove how ridiculous I am. Hope you have a list of these too ;)

For now, I cheers to you and yours and hope you have the best of times in 2012. I will be back "next year" to discuss my adventures in 2011 and share some photos, too!


Until next time, have fun watching that big ball drop (that came out terribly wrong)...........................

These Shoes were Made for Walking....on NYE!

I have seen so many shoes that would be perfect twinkle toe options for the upcoming festivities of ringing in the new year, so I thought I'd share my favorite ones with you today to get you into the spirit of walking into 2012 with serious style!

GLITTER HEELS. Duh, most obvious choice ever to grace our feet! They pair with just about any outfit so long as it is in solid tones and minimal on the shine and sparkle....we don't want to look like a complete disco ball....at least that's not the look I'm going for!

PAIR WITH:

-a great LBD

-a red skirt and black top

-solid gold dress

-jeans/jewel tone blazer

BRIGHT PLATFORMS. Considering you cannot pair your glitter heels with a glitter dress (unless you want to look like you've been dipped in a vat of sparkles), you'll need to pick another pair of shoes. I have heard that platforms are slowly falling out of style (noooooooo!) but before the new year hits, bring out your red or blue heels to pair with a solid dress to give a great pop of color. Any jewel tone works during the holiday season, so a cobalt blue or great ruby/burgundy color would be perfect.

PAIR WITH:

-a glitter dress

-black tux pants & white collared shirt with a bow-tie (Kardashian "Khristmas" card?!)

-jeans & a sparkly jacket

LEOPARD WEDGES. So fierce, so ridiculously cool, you'll be the best badass anywhere you choose to party on NYE. I would stray from anything shiny or sparkly when wearing these shoes, though, as the combination should be left with the girls being paid to walk the streets that night!
PAIR WITH:
-lace sleeved LBD
-burgundy top & skinny leatherette pants
-cropped skinny jeans & a muted gold sweater

PATENT BLACK BOOTIES. I am usually not a fan of patent black, as most shoes look cheap in this fashion (unless, of course, they aren't actually cheap). Something about a pair of patent booties looks very androgynous, though, which always wins in my fashion book!
PAIR WITH:
-bright tights & a that LBD (always a go-to!)
-dress shorts (in a fun hue!), black tights, white blouse
-black skinnies, ruby sweater, black jewelry

Regardless of your shoes--or outfit--choices, be sure to have a fun, safe, and extremely enjoyable new year's eve....looking forward to seeing NYE outfit posts!!


Until next time, let's rock out these last few days of 2011.................

Christmas Outfits - The Good & The (really) Bad

I know I have already done an outfit post for some go-to holiday styles, but I thought maybe I'd take a moment to point out some fashion trends that may or may not be a good idea to rock for your festive events.

Yeah, I'm talking about all those people you see at church, holiday parties, or work functions that took the dress code to an entirely new level....a level of utter travesty. Let's point them out verbally and giggle behind our computer screens, shall we?

#1 -- ALWAYS Keep it Classy

Ladies, it is never ok to transform your club cocktail dress into a church-going clothing item. Really, the big man and baby Jesus will not smile down on you for your choice of poor fabric, shiny sequins, and sheer black tights you wore in a sorry attempt to "class" up your Christmas outfit.
Rather, think OPAQUE tights, something that hits closer to the knee than closer to your ass, and when in doubt, do not wear something that looks like it falls under the "club" section on F21's website. Yes, hunny, you know what I am talking about...step away from the one-shouldered animal print!

#2 -- Man(ifest) your Guy Code

Gentlemen, please, under no circumstance, wear a turtleneck to any holiday function. Really, even if you are married or have a girl locked down with a ring, it is still entirely unacceptable to revert yourself back to your childhood days of santa-printed turtlenecks and reindeer sweaters. Am I the only one seeing this horrific flashback to yesteryears?! Seriously, though, you look like you're suffocating yourself over the holiday stress and that is never a good look to sport, dear lads.

Rather, a solid-colored sweater or plaid button-down in neutral tones is a smart choice. Understated is always classy, never cheesy. Plus, if you don't have a girl locked down, then you have every reason to look sharp and not seedy with your Santa neck-contraption!

#3 - (Do NOT) Wear your Cheer on Your Sleeves

Lest we forget about those people who wear entirely too much cheer on their sleeves.....and stomachs and shoulders and legs and.....you get the point. Overdoing it on the trashy sweaters and printed pants may be humorous, but really, it is incredibly embarassing at the end of the day. Aside from being the goofy guy in your office or the funny history teacher all the kiddos love, this look does not work! The worst part is when women age themselves by rocking those 3D sweaters where the presents, snowmen, or Christmas trees are literally popping off the vest/sweater/trash...like, really, you really thought it looked good? Did you fail art as a child, too? Clearly your taste in all things creative fell to the wayside somewhere....I hope Santa finds it and brings it back for you with a tastefully wrapped ribbon to boot!
If you must deck the halls in wearable holiday cheer, do it with colors rather than visual art. Wear a red sweater with a great cream scarf. Rock a cobalt blue tee with a black blazer. Jewel tones say "let's rock in this holiday" in a much more fashion-forward way than the woman who has Christmas lights for buttons on her cardigan.

Have any more tips for our fallen fashion friends? Fill me in!

I will leave you with a photo of me & SSB from a Christmas party we attended this weekend.......and boy, we nailed the theme!
Ugly Christmas party?! More like absolutely-dreadful-to-the-point-of-tears Christmas party!! BOOM.

(Yes, mine lights up & yes, SSB has a stocking near/around 

his southern region....gawwwd, I chose a classy one!)

Until next time, I sure hope you are making conscious Christmas clothing choices this season...........