Catching Up -- Five Friday

I fell off a giant cliff near my school and am just now getting back to normal from the horrific accident.

No, that's not true at all, you silly cats and hood rats.
I'm just busy. & (slightly) lazy. & formerly sick with some crazy unknown illness that's really no more serious than just the common cold.

I am BACK for a bit, though, to catch you up on the not-so-cool things going on in the world of SS. My students sit silently taking a standardized test (draft writing, my bad!), so my downtime is great and I am lah-ving it! Here's a quick (or not so quick) Five Friday for you, random updates edition!


1. First things first, this weekend is St. Patrick's Day and I may look more Irish than I really am, but damnit, I celebrate like a champ. The downtown festivities cannot be missed and the weather is proving to be quite charming and lovely for a wonderful time of outdoor day drinking.....BUT what to wear, one might ask? Well, I have been searching far & wide for the perrrfect pair of green jeans. "A pop of color by way of denim is so in right now, SS, how easy for you!" -- HAH, I laugh at your naivety, because the only jeans I could find were mint, teal, turquoise, sea foam, or just about any shade of green aside from IRISH green. That is until I walked into Old Navy post-workout one night out of sheer bordem (or sheer panic of needing green jeans). LAST pair of true green pants that exist on the planet...and they were on the mannequin. Nuh-uh, SS ain't havin' that! I promptly turned into "that girl" and asked one of the employees if I could de-pants their female model. She didn't seem fazed at all--helpful even!--to endure the awkward task. Once I had the pants in my hand, I thanked her kindly for her de-robing skills and also apologized for being "that girl" (which makes you even more so "that girl") -- air quotes over. Green pants found. Let the drinking commence! (tomorrow, that is....) I leave you with not a photo of new skinny pants (sort of self-explanatory) but a recipe for a grrrrreast Irish beverage that sounds disgusting but you need to taste it to believe the magic. Fo' reals. If my one sistahh is reading, she'll be proud I posted this!

IRISH BREAKFAST SHOT -- If you do it correctly, the finishing taste is exactly like pancakes...wild!
1. In one shot glass, pour two counts of any whiskey and one count of butterscotch schnapps.
2. In another shot glass, pour in some good ol' orange juice.
3. Take the first shot and immediately follow with the second.
4. Let the pancake taste fill your mouth with joy.
.......you're welcome ;)

2. Second things second, I have a new baby! She's adorable, really, and although I've dressed her in the one color I hate most (pink), she still somehow shines and sparkles like a true superficial piece of technology after my own heart.

{awkward crooked photo much? sorry.....}

I know, I know, the "newww" iPad is coming out THIS Friday (aka today), but why not jump on this deal?! The iPad 2 is now $100 cheaper and the "newww" iPad has grrreat specs and all, but I don't need all that mumbo-jumbo schtuff when the 2 is just as cute. Done deal. I went up a bit in SSB's book for owning one. What a loser techy he is!

3. On the topic of technology, I have been bah-bah-busy with stuff at school...but mostly outside of my own classroom. Seniors are starting to get hellishly sick with something I can only find to be LAZINESS, but they have some cutesy name called "senioritis" -- I mean, I had it too....but for four years of college, so it was entirely different....and entirely warranted! Oh, right, technology. Well, in the midst of all the cray-cray going on, THIS happened.....

MAN DOWN. MAN. DOWN.

...and I cried.

...and I called SSB.

...and I got a new phone/case the same day.

...and all was right with the world again.
(if you're like me & want durability without buying an Otterbox, buy a SPECK case!)

4. Can I make a shout-out now? To one of my dearest blogging pals, The Procrastinator! I was out shopping at Marshall's to find a yoga towel (ok, to find just about anything cute) when I came across a makeup item she recommended to me a few months back. & WOAH, honey child, I lahhhhve it dearly. I dare not leave you in suspense any longer....
Enter: The Balm Products
I found not ONE, not TWO, but THREE different sets from The Balm and I just could not decide....so I picked up all three. Then, a small voice (or my friend) told me I was being irrational considering two of the sets had very similar products. I let my better thoughts win out and purchased only two. Life-savers, I tell ya! The products include.....(sorry no personal photos of post-purchase packages since I ripped into those bad boys faster than La-Lohan gets outta jail!)

If you do not have any of their products yet, you MUST scope them out ASAP. The packaging alone suckered me in before the inner genius in me screamed and said, "THIS is what The Procastinator was talking about!"
The products I purchased are two blushes (Hot Mama & Frat Boy), a shine powder (Sexy Mama), and a mini kabuki brush (sooo soft!) -- the BEST of the bunch (and the reason I freaked out) was the Bahama Mama Bronzer...so fab, I love it a ridiculous amount!
If you are not already following The Procrastinator's posts, you're missing out, dear readers! Go check her out immediately. Seriously....go.

5.I leave you with just ONE teacher rant story to end this hodge-podge-fodge post!
Male Student: Miss Smith, I wanted to ask you something, but really do not want you to be mad at me.
Me: Ok, well opening with that line never ends well, soo.....
Male Student: But Miss Smith, I'm one of the best in this class, and I really need your help!
Me: Ok, ok, shoot....
Male Student: I am entering a local radio contest to win VanHalen tickets. Soooo....
Me: Ok, spit it out, class is starting...
Male Student: Well you only win the contest if you enter a photo of your teacher while they're teaching.
Me: That doesn't make any sense!....I'm not a fan but I know that's not how their hit song goes...
Male Student: Uhhh, well this is awkward now. It is a hot teacher contest.
Me: Sit down, it's not happening.
Male Student: (whispering to classmate as he walks away) I'll just get the photo when she isn't paying attention.
Me: I heard that.
Male Student: Shit.
....and scene. All in a day's work of educating our youth....on what you should never ask your teacher. (PS the actual radio contest is not a real teacher contest...just for people to dress up like slore-bags and pretend to play hot teacher for a couple snapshots. I meeeean, I don't play pretend anymore, kitty cats, those days are past me, thank you very much....I don't pretend to play the bitch teacher anymore, I just am her!)


I am so sorry for straying from the SS scene as of late. Promises to do better, but promises are empty, soooo I'll just go ahead and say I'll see ya when I see ya next ;) --which WILL be soon!
RANDOM FINISHING NOTE: Listen to Gotye's "Somebody I Used To Know" and let your ears jump with melodic joy. It's good. SO. good.

Until next time, I hope you have all been doing faaabulously in your own lives.........

Five Friday...Teacher Attire

As I sit here with a white trash combo of Chardonnay and a splash of ginger ale (I know, I scream classy) I feel like I should blog and write about something.....

......but I got nothing. (except for saying this is obvi a scheduled post, seeing as how I am not drinking on the job before 8am.....OR am I?)

I could blame many, many things on my lack of blogging, but really, I have nothing for you that would be anything but a sorry, lame excuse. Also, I still cannot find my damn camera cord, and taking iPhone photos is getting ooooold, so I have pulled what creative juices I have left and re-created my work attire for you in Polyvore form. Most of these include at least one actual piece from my outfits this past week (including today's) and all of the outfits are virtually the exact same in terms of style, color, fit, and overall look. Polyvore, you're too damn good!

Indulge....and Happy {Five} Friday!

Monday - We had an in-service full of meetings and no kiddos. Time to play it super casual! & those are actually the new boots I got (Jessica Simpson), super cute!

Tuesday - I honestly never wear pink, but somehow, my new hot pink blouse from F21 is a fast favorite! I felt so pulled together while still feeling on trend. Even the kiddos complimented me on the color -- they have their cute moments after all. I was feeling extra festive, too, so I added bright F21 rings to finish off the look!

Wednesday - LOVE myself a good wrap dress. You cannot go wrong with a good black and red combo...comfortable but still professional, best of both worlds! Target (where my red wrap dress is from) is a great place to search for cute and affordable work clothes!

Thursday - I am one of the advisers for our SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions) club and 2/23 was "Purple Day" in order to raise awareness and show support against teen dating violence. This purple tee was only $7 from Old Navy....such a cute color for spring! I had on a scarf that had the exact same blue and purple tones as this Missoni one, too! Something about a maxi dress and my cropped F21 white/black color blocking blazer pulled the whole outfit up to an extremely professional level, despite the casual t-shirt. SUCH a comfortable outfit, too!

Friday - Even though we are allowed to wear jeans on Friday, I always dress up my top half with a blazer or nice blouse so I don't blend in too much with the kiddos. My Aldo booties are still my favorite and the kiddos love 'em, too, oddly enough!

I try to keep my outfits balanced between cute/trendy and business/professional. My students always ask where I find all of my clothes, and little do they know MOST come from stores they shop at.....like F21 and Old Navy. Yeah, bitches, I'm just that crafty ;) Make it werrrk, sistah!

Have a fabulous weekend, enjoy yourselves! I'll leave you with my latest purchase/splurge and a photo of me and Mr.SSB from our Valentine's Day weekend dinner (where we hit up da club afterwards to meet his friends.....yeah, we keep it real...and sweaty).

Until next time, I'm off to enjoy my own weekend and relish in all the beauty that is the END of February.....................

Another Reason to Hate February!

Hello dear readers and friends, how are we doing today? Are you in the full swing of hating life all because of those dreaded winter blues? Well, let's talk about the mean reds, shall we? (Breakfast at Tiffany's  reference, anyone?!) I meeeean, what happens in February about, oh, half way through the month? A day where we're supposed to profess our love to whomever with cards and homemade mailboxes? Oh....we aren't 10 anymore? Well then, shit, this holiday sucks!

I am not the anti-Valentine's Day gal because I've never had one. In fact, I always have....which isn't bragging in the slightest if you've met half the guys I dated (SSB not included, relax). I just never understood the holiday because I show lah-ving 24/7, so long as the rest of the world isn't being a bag of douche and forcing me to turn into the bitch I usually am.

However, we (being me and the BF, duh) still celebrate the holiday, and SSB and I will be doing so by eating a ton of red meat and guzzling down plenty of red wine (I'll take one for the team here), so we're totes in the spirit to celebrate the mean reds during this oh-so festive holiday! WHAT TO WEAR then? Let's discuss........

I am rocking a fitted black dress from H&M that does way too good of a job of giving me a curvy top half and a whittled waist (but nowhere near as disgusting as that gal with the 20" waist.....gag). I plan on wearing a cream cropped jacket with black trim that gives a bit of a Chanel feel but at an H&M price. Fun Fact: For any "big" date SSB and I have had, I have worn an H&M dress. How about them apples?! Anywho, find a dress that is sexy but still classy, because you want your man (or your flavor of the moment) to see you as a force to be reckoned with......and you just look sleazy and cheesy (and too downright easy) in a dress too short or in a too-bold print. Stick to neutrals, solids, and polished shoes. You're dressing for your date, not the rest of the world, and it is best to keep it demure and subtle if you're going to a nicer place.

If there was ever a time to invest in a fabulous apron, now would be the time! Wear a classic v-neck or cardigan,  throw on some dark skinnies, great flats, and find the cutest damn apron out there! Buy him one, too, to make the night that much more fun. Cooking together is a great way to commemorate the holiday; buy the heart-shaped cookie cutters, make food that is red or pink (spaghetti?!) and go all out in the cheesiest way possible. Finish the night with cute satin PJs (Victoria's Secret has the best) and watch the cheesiest love movie you can find! (SSB would never let that last part slide....and confession: I loathe The Notebook. I know....but it's just too sad!)

Some girls try to play the "it's about you" card and do something fun for their man.....even if they'd rather let their pup eat their favorite pair of heels than go to a hockey game on Valentine's Day. Regardless, if you are one of these gals, best to dress cute so you can at least look good while being miserable. Check out my post HERE on some great sporting event outfits. As for the ice skating bullshit (kidding), it's a great idea so long as you don't mind freezing. Wear a great winter coat and a bright scarf that brings out, I don't know, the color of your eyes...or the rosiness of your frozen cheeks (on your face, dolls.....) It's February after all, and if you're located in the north or east this month, the most important part is to stay warm...but still look gaw-ghus doing it!

"Forget men, let's just put our pocketbooks on the floor and just dance, screw guys, I just wanna dance!" Dane Cook had it right when he made this joke years ago. Some gals prefer to just hit up the town all-BFF-style over the holiday weekend and rightfully so! Wear the hottest jeans you have with that great blouse/top....you knowwww, the one that makes the girls look good but not like you're suffocating them....just the perfect balance to create that comment from your BFF that is something like....."Woah, when did she become so hot? I'm jealous.....she's going to dance with so many more guys than me. Bitch....." Add a blazer or leather jacket to offset the fact your girls will be freezing and top (or bottom?!) it off with the tallest black heels or wedges you own. OR the red heels that everyone else thinks are questionable but somehow become totally appropriate for this specific night!
(Funny Side Story.....one of the classes at my school had Mock Trials. The girls were told to look professional, like something their mother or grandmother would wear. One girl came in wearing the most offensively tight, short black skirt with HOT PINK 5-inch heels. It's a shame when your shift at the local 18&under club runs into, oh, 7:30am! Yikes.....)


What are you planning for your holiday/holiday weekend? Fill me in, I'd love to hear it. I leave you with some last-minute tips on keeping your hair and makeup just as festive as the rest of you this holiday ;)


HAIR AND MAKEUP TIPS
**Bring out the red lips if you're out with the girls....stick with a soft stain if you'll be smooching the man.
**A great pink cheek against a nice winter face is always in style. Use a bit of creme blush under a powder to help it set and last all night!
**Try putting hot rollers in your hair while doing your makeup or choosing your outfit. Flowing hair with a bit of bend and curl is perfect for the occasion. Not too stuffy but still romantic and fun! Be sure to hairspray the hell out of it with flexible hairspray, too!

Alright, put cupid's arrow in my ass, I'm done talking about this holiday!


Until next time, farewell love bugs and blogger valentines.................................

You Look Smash*ing, Dear!

It may be the teacher in me, but I suuuure do love me some organization!
I also drool over the Erin Condren planners just as much as the next girl....

BUT I am not about to spend $50 on a planner that isn't exactly what I want.
That makes me sound like a bitch....but what I mean is, don't you also love when your planner is unique to you?
Then perk up and listen about my new purchase that is smash-ing if I do say so myself ;)


SMASH Journals (not a journal at all, though, sorry Judy Blume types)

I was out at different craft stores with my sister and momma bear to look at wedding supplies (for my sister, not me, silly ones) when I saw this section of "scrapbooking" items that ended up being filled with all of these goodies:

{all of the items before tearing them open and crafting --

how freaking adorable, am I right?!}

They have over four different types of "journals" to choose from. I myself got the "pretty style" but others include "eco" or "retro" which are other great options. The pages are filled with random drawings, cardstock in different print, and different "titles" -- it's more or less an organizer for your life rather than a day-to-day planner with calendars. I posted some photos of the pages below:

{the bottom right photo is one of the pockets I bought --

comes in a set of four & you can glue them in with the

attached glue stick! & of course I added the cute polka-dot tape!}

The great thing about this company is that a ton of accessories come with it (well not with the book, but for the book you can buy separately)....and if you don't already know, I have a slight problem when it comes to accessories. You can buy tabs, post-its, pockets, and other items to make this "planner" your own....and all of them are so damn cute. I chose some solid tabs, others with designs, and two straps that keep the book compact when in your bag.....this is how mine looks when closed:

{I chose to use the black&white closing strap -- 

OH and those are my keys for my classroom....also cute.}

SO how is this book unique? Well, I wrote on a bunch of different tabs, glued them in with the pen/glue stick that comes with your chosen style of journal and made it entirely my own. I even took a piece of paper from the "pad" I bought for it and made a nice little label on the inside:

{very circus-like, love the old-timey feel!}

I chose to create tabs for things I always tell myself I will write down.....but never do. What is that you may ask? Well, an exercise page, a section for books I want to read, an "important" things to do page, and even a goals page that I have been meaning to start fo'eva now! Some of those pages look like this:

{tabs include sayings like "exercize is power" and "2 read is 2 learn" --

love how you can write whatever you want for the tabs!}

So, like I said, this is the planner/journal/organizer for the gal who already has a day-to-day calendar -- OH, and I should note that I found all of this at Michael's Craft Store after seeing it at Jo-Anne Fabrics first and it was cheaper AND 20% off......meaning ALL of the goods you saw in the first photo were $24 total. YES. I kid you not, of course, because that would just be mean.
The 20% deal runs until the 20th of February at my local Michael's, so you should run (not walk) to the closest one to you and grab these goods! I plan on going this weekend again to get even more tabs and fun items for my book.
If you decide to do the same, please post photos and let me know! I was beyond excited to bring all of my items home to make my customized book and I hope you have just as much fun with yours :)


It should go without saying, but this is not a sponsored post. I was just that excited about this new find! If you're more of an online type, check out this site to search for your own goods ;) ALSO check out their blog for some ridiculously awesome inspiration on how others have made their SMASH books entirely unique to them! (It is truly amazing....)


Until next time, I'm going to go and write down goals or draw some awesome doodles, have yourself a fantastic weekend................

The First Step To {Superficial} Recovery

.....let's just be clear, I do not have a problem. SSB will be the first to say I do, but it's really a hobby, a passion, a mere interest. It doesn't threaten my well-being....just my wallet.

If something can have an accessory, I feel it is my civil duty as a genuinely superficial person to give it that added extra touch of love.

No, I don't own a bedazzler.
Rhinestones make me vomit.

However, my iPhone is less than a year old & has been through five phone cases.
I just bought a Nook and had to buy it a cover and an adorable reading light...you know, in case I read in the dark (which SSB quickly pointed out....I'm never in the dark.) The light was necessary, though, just in case I find myself in the dark.....JUST in case, people!
I bought my keys small gems (posted in a photo here) just because having one key just didn't justify the cuteness of my new car. Yeah, I went there. That key couldn't be lonely, that's just rude!

So yes, it isn't a problem, so there's no need to recover from it. Here are some other things in the accessory depart that I am lahhh-ving right now...for accessorizing myself & the things around me that--you know--need love, too!

1. This is the cover I picked for my new Nook (and I'm currently reading Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children) -- love anything that looks like a notebook. It was this or a Kate Spade cover...but it was $60 and I just wasn't swinging that when the one I chose was half of that!

2. WHEN (not if) I get the next iPad (SSB's ears are burning somewhere), I will buy this case. I want a case that is more like a Nook cover. I like the sleeves and all that MBMJ & Michael Kors make, but I would much rather have a constant case covering the back, just like I like my iPhone. The patent blue is fierce in my opinion!

3. This watch. Love a dual-tone watch & also love rose gold. I also love that it is NOT a tortoise Michael Kors watch that is literally on everyone's wrists these days! I really must have this. (There goes that so-called "problem" talking again.....)

4. I love having little things here & there in my classroom and on my desk and I love what B&N has to offer in the way of office accessories. How cute are these bookends?! One can never have too many bookends simply because one can never have too many books! (Nerd alert.)

What do YOU love to accessorize? Please fill me in! Obviously I will not buy all of these as reality usually sinks in (or just SSB's voice) and tells me I do not need bookends in multiple amounts or an iPad case when the newest iPad hasn't even been (officially) announced yet..........
..........Fiiiiiiine. Maybe I do have a problem. The first step is admitting it. The second? Feeding it, keeping it ALIIIIVE (cue Frankenstein voice). Screw youuuuu, SSB, leave me and my well-accesorized life alone! (Just kidding, just kidding!!)


Until next time, I'm off to go and look for a new phone case (kidding...sort of)............