HAPPY FREAKING HALLOWEEN

Can you believe it is the last day of October? Really, if there wasn't a holiday on this day, I think I would have completely forgotten about October ending and woke up on Tuesday like it was just another day in the tenth month. Pretty much like when I wake up in a panic at 6:15am on a Saturday not realizing I'm not late for a gosh darn thing. So I'm not the best with times and dates...whatever.

BEFORE we get into the costumes portion of this post, you must first go to my blogging buddy's page because I did a guest post over there on fantabulous cold-weather coats! Woohoo to guest posting and YAY to Little Ramblings who asked me to do it -- love her, love her blog, love love love all around.

Go read it, go follower her, goooooo go go!

--------------------

Alas, it IS Halloween and I am here to share with you photos of SSB and I from the Halloween party we attended over the weekend.

Now, if you are an avid SS reader (then I stinking LOVE you...), you may know that SSB and I were clueless when it came to picking a costume this year. I did a solid two or three posts where you all could vote....well, we went with NONE of those. Don't be offended, dear readers, it was our (mine & SSB's, that is!) fault and our fault alone...we just don't see eye to eye on creative things in life.........until we have alcohol in our system and encouragment from bartenders. Yeah, I just went there.

We were mulling it over in our minds, thinking about what we could possibly to do to top our costume last year. Well, we realized we couldn't top it, so that was that.
Then we thought about what the people at the party would enjoy, what they'd recognize, what they'd be impressed by. Then I named the wrong superhero/woman because I'm clueless in the department of nerdiness, which then turned into the following conversation/debate....

SSB: "Wait, you should be her!"
Me: "Seriously?! There's no way, she wears latex...."
SSB: "Come on, they'll love it, it's a great movie...."
(At this point the bartenders hear, they like the idea, encouraging us to do it.)
Me: "I don't know, it's gutsy...you get to be covered up, too, that's not exactly fair."
SSB: "What other choice do we have?"
Me: "We have lots of choices where I don't have to wear a bathing suit!"
SSB: "You'd have to buy a wig, too, I think."
Me: {thinking for a solid five seconds} "OH! You're right....ok, I'll do it!!"

FINAL DECISION: Watchmen Characters - Silk Spectre and The Nite Owl   

(Silk Spectre hooks up with The Nite Owl once leaving the big blue dude, Dr. Manhattan...

I swear I'm not a loser nerd.....)

So.....if you haven't ever seen the film or read the graphic novel version of it, watch the below trailer to get an idea of who we chose to be. (Seriously, the trailer is badass, watch it....) -- Rent/buy/pirate the movie, people, it's good, it's a movie even this girl-tastic girl loves watching! It's set in an alternative 1985 and, holy shit, my character has killer outfit choices when she isn't wearing latex!

{my character shows up in the :57 mark and SSB's dude shows up at 1:03.....

in case you really don't feel like watching the whole thing!}

And if you really didn't even want to click play on the trailer (shame on you!), here are the movie posters featuring our characters....

 And....here WE are as those characters.....

{I mean, let's be real, I could not possibly fight crime in this outfit!} 

{The garters make it instantly risque but I assure you all body parts were

covered that should be covered....just a little leg action for ya!}

CLOSE UP, BITCHES

{the black hair made my blue peepers really stand

out in person....but the bangs, NOT a fan....}

The costumes seemed to be a big hit, but that's because we played to the party guests' strengths, we knew a ton of people there would be allll over a good comic book/graphic novel couple costume! And, damnit, we were right! 
The party was a lot of fun and I am glad we chose these costumes. Now I guess I have to become some sort of cat burglar or nighttime crime watcher just so I can wear this outfit again and get my money's worth!

PLEASE post your photos of your costume(s), I love seeing other people's choices!
I will leave you with my teacher OOTD for this Halloween..........it's a doozy.

ummm HELL YES I wore this around all day....walked in this morning with it on like it was no big deal. Kiddos loved it...well, some were "too cool" to appreciate a good panda hat. High schoolers, psshhh.

Teacher OOTD : Target Blazer, Target White Tee, Black Cigarette Pants (boutique in college), F21 heels (for the "bamboo" effect, since you know, pandas eat that shit up.)

Happy Halloween to all, and until next time, I hope you all have had a wonderful October........

Pics at the Punkin Patch (photo heavy, yo)

{my first cat was named "punkin" because my sister couldn't actually say the word "pumpkin" yet -- now I call all pumpkins that instead...get over it.}

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVE!

I am sadly not here to share my costume with you all, as I am saving that for the actual holiday, but rather, I am here to share some seasonal festive photos!

SSB and I did a Wednesday day date to the pumpkin patch....
which means the place was practically empty....
the weather happened to be quite dreary....
which means the places was really empty.....
which means we took photos like odd tourists.....
even though we live not 30 minutes from said patch.....


PHOTOS!

1. SSB: "Get in the jail!" Me: "No, you get in the jail." (Silence) Me: "Fiiiine, I'll get in the jail."
2. "I'm ridin' solo, I'm ridin' solo, solo....."

3. Punkins! (It was cold and drizzly....hence my scarf hat!)
4. Classic couple-ly shot.
5. Another classic couple-ly shot.

6. Aaaaannd one more for good measure......

7. SSB holding our pick from the patch! (he didn't know I took this, he just has that much swagger...)

8. Ticketttts! Get yo' tickettttts!

9. Mining for gold (for the little ones on the weekends).

10. Umm....YUM!

{OOTD : H&M Skull Tee, Aldo Jeggings, Aldo Boots, F21 Cardigan, F21 Scarf, H&M Sunglasses} .....SSB is probably wearing all American Eagle, shocker.....

Then we went off to Mad Mex(ican) and got ourselves a GOBBLERITO! If you have yet to enjoy this eighth wonder of the world, it is Thanksgiving in a flour tortilla....really. Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and corn inside, topped with gravy and a side of cranberry sauce (which I despise!) SSB & I shared one, of course, and had some margs to top it off!

There you have it, my most recent day/evening date with SSB -- I'll be back tomorrow to share with you some photos from our Halloween party, woot woot! Just as a hint....we did not go with any of our first (or second or third) options....we just couldn't agree on any of them....go figure. THIS we did agree on, though, although I needed some serious convincing (and you'll understand why soon enough). Hope you all had a great holiday weekend and an even happier actual Halloween come tomorrow!

I'm doing this post as part of a link-up with BohoBabyBump, too, so you should showcase your Halloween weekend and link-up, as well! (It's happening on four different sites, mah-jor!)

Until next time, have a spook-tacular day.....yeah, I went there!

Mini Haul

Hello friends! I hope you all had a fan-freaking-tastic weekend -- I hope the weather was crisp but not too cold, sunny but not too hot, and you made plenty of wise decisions....like drinking that extra cocktail (or extra three cocktails) before asking Siri on your new iPhone 4S to find you a taxi home (because, you know, she can totally do that).

I don't have a 4S, which means I don't have Siri.
Whatever, I'm not bitter.
It's not like I'm worried SSB will leave me for her.
Stupid bitch, better watch her back!

(Now leaving bitch-tastic mode and entering into sing-songy voice.....)

Anywhooooo, while my weekend was all over the place, I did fit in some time to run to the mall and grab some things that I didn't need, but a sale sometimes cannot be passed up!
I would like to also preface this mini haul by stating that whoever was in charge of stying/photographing these photos was either blind, stupid, a man, or all three. You'll see what I mean, I'm sure.

RASPBERRY SHERPA COLLAR LEATHERETTE JACKET (F21)

I feel like I am starting to collect leather(ette) jackets this year more than I've been adding to the scarf collection. Regardless, this jacket could not be passed up when I walked passed it yesterday. Total steal.

{Honestly, they could have picked the size down (or TWO sizes down) to put on this model. My jacket is much more fitted than this frump-di-dump look...& those pink bottoms with the jacket? Hmmm, no thank you!}








"PUFFER" VEST IN TWEED (OLD NAVY)

I actually am not a classic puffer fan in the slightest, because I personally do not want to remind anyone of the Michelin Man by my choice of dress, but ON hit it out of the park with this bad boy using tweed. So cozy, so chic, and it was the perfect topper to the current outfit I have on!

{again, a man must have photographed this, it is much more fitted and not so bulky in person.}








MAXI SKIRT IN GREY (OLD NAVY)

I love these for work. I thought this print was good for any season and the pleated effect is much prettier in person. Think it'll look cute with boots or normal wedges, depending on the weather. Very flowy and simple, my favorite feel in a skirt! Plus, it was on sale for $15, woop woop!

{again, not a flattering photo, the colors of the skirt are much more vibrant in person.}








SLIM CAPRI TROUSERS IN BUTTERSCOTCH (OLD NAVY)

I bought these for work simply because they were on sale for NINE dollars. Sadly, my height makes them normal length....like, really?! That would happen to me. It gives them a cute tapered effect, though, so I'm ok with it. The material looks dreadful in the photo, but they're much looser and a bit more chic in person....have I said that for every photo now? It's because it's true -- we need to find these photogs and beat them with their cameras!









MEN'S SKULL TEE (H&M)

Ok, while I definitely didn't need this, it was just TOO badass to pass up. Pair it with the raspberry jacket I first mentioned, skinnies, and some boots.....yeah, I'd dare you to mess with me then, people! Really, though, I probably read too much into it and bought it because I thought it had this deeper meaning about aviation when, in reality, the designer of this tee probably just likes skulls. & hey, you know, that's ok in my book, I like them too, obviously. Bonus points for the men's section on this one.








.......and one thing entirely unrelated to clothing but a recent purchase (made before the shopping trip) that my credit card probably maybe quite possibly hates me for.


Skullcandy & ROC Nation Aviator Headphones in Brown

BOOM. I was a fan of my Zumreed's for sure, but when I saw these bad boys in the Apple Store recently, I knew they would be mine before too long. Of course I have already used them and they feel great even after extended wear (the issue with my Zumreed's) and their sound quality is crisp and wonderful and I feel like I'm being enveloped in the sound. Ahhh, so in love. Not to mention I feel like a badass pilot bitch in them.....Jay-Z, you done good, son. This was the last pair at my local Best Buy, so thank you to the four men who went on a wild goose chase to find them for me because they were not in their correct location. Oh, and no thank you to the man who stayed behind to "keep me company while I waited" -- awkward conversation and your escort to the front of the store as I left was entirely unnecessary. & just so we're clear, mister BB man, I will not be coming back in a week to tell you if you should buy these headphones even though you made me pinky promise. Yes, I'm breaking a pinky promise. It's entirely his fault and not my own, I just wanted some damn headphones!


That's it for the mini haul. I know my posts have been slacking in the beauty department, so be on the look out for some beauty-related posts in the near future. I mean, I've been on a killer complaining/rant streak, so if that's more your style, feel free to read my rants on shoes and the terrible SMH acronym that I wrote in previous posts.

ONE MORE THING! I now have a Tumblr. Not entirely sure why, but it is what it is. If you'd like to follow that, here's the link (CLICK!)....I plan on just using it as a "vision board" of sorts to keep my inspiration flowing. Plus, I'm a blogger....why not just add myself to another social medium?! I added it to the "Stalk SS" page, too.


Off I go to try and be teacherly.....the youth is safe, people, I've got this, clearly (says the teach who is blogging......)


Until next time, farewell lovahs.......



SS does not "SMH"

.....or at least doesn't write "SMH" even though this post will have "SMH" written all over. You get the point, though. If you don't, then I'm "SMH" at you......

I never knew what this meant after seeing many-a friends (or frenemies) on Facebook and Twitter take to their social networking site of choice to write something followed by these three letters. What does it even mean?!

Shut My Head?
Somebody May Hear?
Sluts Must Hate?
......I mean, really, the list could go on and on.

Honestly, though, when I found out it meant "shaking my head" -- I just got angry. Annoyed. I mean, I grew up in the days of "brb"-ing and told plenty of people I would "ttyl" with no intention of continuing our "LOL" worthy conversation....so it's safe to safe I am accepting of acronyms. SMH, though, got under my skin.....but you know, I may just be one angry biotch lately because a lot has me, well, "SMH"....and here is a list of some....and it goes without saying that, at the top, stands this ridiculous three-letter travesty.


1. My sisters taking things. OKAY, if either of them is reading this, know I still love you....obvi, you're my sister, sort of have to ;) Regardless, it is not okay when you tell me what you're wearing while you're away this weekend and the belt I had already planned on including in my outfit for the next day is on your list....uh, my belt?! OH, and then they get mad that I say, "I actually planned on wearing that." Like, I'm sorry, I didn't know I needed to see if you wanted to wear it before I went ahead and put it on my body....you know, something I own. Same thing happened in the summer with my shoes, and the biotch told me to pick another pair...REALLY?! Momma didn't raise no wimp, I want my shoes, damnit! Sisters.....can't live with them, can't dress without them.

{hahahahah does anyone else remember this video? hysterical.}

2. Ohio. Not Ohio in general...but I sort of, kind of, definitely am annoyed by them right now. I just really don't understand this state. It's flat all over, has terrible football teams (the Browns and OSU, yuck), and now this man released all of these exotic animals, shot himself, and then authorities shot FOURTY-NINE animals, including extremely rare breeds? Surely you can't be seriously! ("Yes I am serious and my name's not Shirley!") Really, though.....I mean, honestly, this story makes no sense to me at all, and I see the logic is almost everything some things. These animals did nothing and yet they take the fault for a disgusting excuse for a human being? NOT COOL, OHIO, NOT COOL.

{selling on e-bay, get yours now! -- really, I don't hate all of Ohio, relax!}

3. Dry Skin. Yep, my attitude has gone from, "WOOOO FALL" to "Gosh darn damnit, my skin is getting dry, stupid weather!" -- That being said, I have noticed my skin is just looking so thirsty as of late. I moisturize with the best of them, but sometimes that just isn't enough, I suppose, my skin is a greedy son-of-a-bitch! Any good masks/masques out there to add some moisture? Let me know....you know, so I'm not left looking all gross-tastic. I used a sample of Dermalogica's Hydration Booster last night and that seemed to help, but I'm not dropping serious cash on getting my own, that's for sure!

{something edible wouldn't be bad, either, I know honey 

is good....but a bit too gooey for my face's liking!}

4. My blog. I mean, not the whole blog, as this is my baby and I adore her dearly. I think she just needs lift, a change, in a big but still understated way. I think I'm over the color scheme, want something new. It won't be drastic, but it will be necessary! I just look at it now and can't help but not really "SMH" but just cock my head to the side like my dog does when I talk to him in my robotic baby voice. "Meeker want to go outsiiiiide? Meep, meep, booooo" (His name is actually Meiko, FYI)......I never said I was a normal pet-lover, just ask my family. I have an Elmira move where I love to squeeze my fat cat's paws until he lets out a little yelp....let it be known I only do this when he just looks so darn cute....or when he tries to use said paw to swipe bacon off my plate, sneaky bitch. & well, he's fat, it's not like it actually hurts him. Don't call Animal Control on me!!

{if you're reading this and my banner does not look like the above 

photo anymore, then WELCOME to the new SS change, bias!}

How did I end a conversation about my blog with talk about fat cats? Seriously, one of those days......

So, yeah, are you even the least bit shocked I did four? I mean, I couldn't overdo it with the complaints, after all, because really....life is pretty damn good. I did this just as a lighthearted way to showcase my frustrations, but I know better than anyone how to laugh off situations.....except for that sicko I mentioned in number two....that is no laughing matter. Pardon my French, but f*ck that man and his twisted mind.

On a lighter note, seeing as how number four has to do with this site and SSB is closing up the good ol' bux tonight, I may park my butt in the cafe and reformat this blog. I'm going for a simpler idea, something bold but not crazy. Any ideas or suggestions, blogging bitches? Fill me in!


Until next time, I hope you all have a wonderfully cozy weekend even if it's smoldering where you are.....then, in that case, I'm jealous!........

SSRant : Failed Footwear

After seeing several shoes this season that I am absolutely in love with, it made me wonder if there are any styles I don't drool over. Then, I thought, "Well, you're SS, there has to be something to bitch about." Right you are, alter ego, so why not document my loathing(s) for your reading pleasure? I mean, chances are you'll cringe just as much....and run away in your well-chosen footwear.....I hope!

SS-PREFACES : There are exceptions to every rule in fashion & to every dislike I have in life. Take what I say as humor -- there are, undoubtedly, good choices in footwear that may fall under one of the following categories (except for #4 -- not budging there!), so feel free to inform me if you have found a fantastic pair of one of the following.

1. Square-Toe-Anything.  I do not care how old you are, there is no excuse to resort your feet to becoming squares -- after all, wasn't that a name for "lame" people back in the day? So then why would you want to be reminded of that by the shoes on your feet? Not a good look, a very dated one, to be exact!

{proof that even designers get it wrong - by Miu Miu shoes}

 

2. Kitten Heels. It may be the fact that I tripped down THIRTEEN stairs wearing these shoes one day (stupid mini heel and it catching on my wide leg pant!), but really, despite that fact, I never knew why I had a pair. I cringe at the look of them now. Nothing says, "I have no fashionable instincts" like a pair of kitten heels. They do nothing to flatter you. If all you want is just a bit of extra height, go for it, but just know you look way better at 5 feet tall with cute flats than you do with the extra one inch. I think there was a time and a place for these, but those times and those places are over. If you ever saw these on someone and thought they looked good, then I'm sure said woman was a super tall, super thin gal with skinny jeans and a blazer....she already looked so damn polished, her shoes weren't going to ruin her stride. No pun intended.

{can hardly stomach this photo. GAG.}

3. Small Wedges. I mean, if I don't like a small heel, what makes you think I'd like a small wedge? Let's be honest, I'm short. Why do I want anything small to highlight that fact? No, make it raaaain on this bitch with big heels and big wedges.....actually, don't, that would be painful. Nonetheless, you can probably pick up what I'm putting down. Small wedges look so "I'm in middle school/high school and want to have height but mom won't buy me big girl shoes yet." Sort of similar to #1, it doesn't date you, but rather un-dates you.....& we may want that kind of backtracking on our face (hello no wrinkles!) but not in our sense of style!

{really? I mean, just like your last boyfriend, you can do better!}

4. UGGS. I mean, the name is far too dangerously close to the word ugly and if you add an "h" to the end, you get the classic grunt of disapproval, so it goes without saying. Also, in another pet peeve fashion rant, I may have mentioned these bad boys when paired with denim skirts.....with good reason. I really cannot get behind this look. I get the idea behind them, I do -- comfort is great and I'm all for it, but these are so rounded, so uniform, they just are so unflattering! I really do think they ruin a perfectly good sense of personal style, no matter what you say, I will always think this. Sorry, hate me for hating these, but I cannot possibly deter. The only time I think these are acceptable is to shovel snow or play out in the snow, anything snow related......but then the material is not made for snow, so it's just ridiculous. Let's call the whole thing off ugg.

{proof that many Big Foot sightings have been seen....on just about any college campus.}

Why do I always do things in four? It's getting out of hand, but then again, I do have the roman numeral on my body, so it's basically ingrained in me to be this way. I can't control it, just accept it.

I hope you have some fashion footwear pet peeves you'd like to share so I'm not the only blogging bitch around these parts. I apologize if I offended you with my choices....then again, it's just my opinion, not like I'm proclaiming this as fact....unless, of course, you agree with me ;) hah

I hope you're all feverishly planning your spook-tacular Halloween outfits. I am still waiting to see mine, it's currently en route in the mail. Fingers crossed it's good enough...otherwise, I'm out of luck! Why must Halloween stores makes certain costumes "Online Only" -- I mean, it's terribly inconvenient!


Until next time, farewell to all my fashionable footwear females out there............

Trick-Or-Treat : Halloween Beauty

I have already mentioned this holiday in other posts, considering SSB & I were practically hopeless in finding a costume this year, but we did find ones finally & I'll be sure to share the photos with you in due time, but today I'd thought I'd share some of the beauty items that surround this hellish holiday. Some are things I am frightened of and others are items that I am batty over.....yeah, I did just used TWO puns in that last sentence. You're jealous, I know, it's fine, I understand.....

{I'd clearly make for one horrible vampire/zombie hybrid...}

TRICKS
Face Makeup from Halloween Stores - UGH, as much as I love a good face of fright on Halloween, I refuse to use the makeup that comes in those plastic-wrapped concoctions sold at Halloween stores all over. I don't care how "white" it will make me my skeleton face or vampire skin, I will not use it! It's packed with more shit than Casey Anthony's trial and I don't want to start November with a disgusting excuse for a face.

Rubber Masks - First of all, I don't like having a mask on for Halloween because it inhibits my drinking ability....something you really do have to consider when you make a killer witch's brew! Honestly, how many times have you "tried on" the mask so your friend can snap a photo of you and tag you on Facebook? Yeah, well, multiply that by, oh I don't know, TWENTY and that's how many people have also done the same thing....meaning you're rocking a rubber mask all night that's covered in other people's grossness. Did I just make you uncomfortable? Good, because it make me uncomfortable thinking about it, too! Avoid a mask if you can...and if you can't, sanitize the SHIT out of that thing before you wear it....and give your skin breaks, too, during the night or you'll be regretting that sweat fest in the morning. The only time a mask is acceptable is for those college gals who need to make the "walk of shame" back to their place in the morning after their romp in the sheets with the one of the "Village People" they met the night before. God, I miss seeing those hot messes! I was never one of them.....nope, definitely not, never.

TREATS
Sally Hansen Salon Effects in Limited Edition Halloween - A super adorable and fashion-friendly way to show off your holiday spirit! My personal favorites are  Numbskull, Ghoulie Girl, and Spun on You (I checked to make sure...it's just webs, no spider drawings, phew!)

False Lashes - The perfect excuse to look like a hot tranny mess and you're going to pass up on the most ridiculous falsies? Bad move, sister. This is such a great and easy way to amp up your Halloween face, and with so many to try (NYX, Revlon, etc.), there's no way you can't find a pair to complete your peacock or can-can dancer look. I don't know, they were the first two costumes that made me think, "Yeah, bitch, you need yourself some falsies!" The crazier, the longer, the faker, the better!

There you have it, two TRICKS and two TREATS to bring you into the holiday - I look forward to seeing everyone's costumes online as the parties get underway!

I'll leave you with the recipe of the Witch's Brew SSB & I brought last year to our shindig and will being doing the same this year....so tasty! We bought a plastic cauldron and a fake bloody hand and glued the hand to the top of the cauldron, which held the spoon. Oh, stop, I know, we're genius ;) Not really, but we thought we were being crafty! We also thought it was crafty to buy body part gummies to put in the brew....until they grew huge and were so soggy they were nearly inedible. I mean, we're not pros in the craft department, people, give us a break......

WITCH'S BREW
--1 (6 oz.) package of lime gelatin
--2 cups of boiling water 
--3 cups of chilled pineapple juice
--1 (2 liter) bottle of chilled Sprite/Sierra Mist/Ginger Ale
--2 cups chilled vodka (....or, you know, 5 cups works too)
Directions: Pour gelatin into large bowl, stir in the boiling water & keep stirring for about 2 minutes (work it out!).  After it's completely dissolved, stir in the pineapple juice. Add chilled bottle of soda pop and vodka, mix until blended. Super easy!!


Until next time, farewell ghoulish gals (ok, this post has had far too many puns and cheesy statements!)...........

It's That Time of Year.....

no, not for another Halloween post (that will come soon, though).
no, not for another fall-themed fashion session.
no, not for another football fan & sporting event conversation.

It's really that time of year..................
FORRRR TEACHER RAAAAANTS (said in my best sing-songy/Oprah-like voice!)

{if only this could be said in real life.}

Now that the school year is in full swing, and I've conjured up a good bit of tales from the kiddies in class, it's time to share them all with you, whether it be for your viewing pleasure or for your ab workout....because I consider laughing to be the best ab workout......or the only workout.....since I don't actually workout.


Story #1 : It's Janet, MISS Jackson if you're (a student) 
Me: Guys, this is getting ridiculous, none of you are working on your assignment....hop to it, people!
Male Student: Mrs. ________, it's just so hard and long and, well, boring.
Me: First of all, for the last time, it is "Miss" (huge pet peeve of mine!) & I'm sorry, I don't think your parents pay taxes for you to be "bored" at school, so you may as well just leave and grab lunch with your homecoming date, right? Wrong. Sit down, be bored, we're all bored.
Student: Well I don't have a homecoming date yet or else I would definitely leave.
Me: Go for it, get a zero, watch this face (finger circling my own) not care!
Student: Well, you are a "miss"....so you aren't married yet, and I'll just assume you're free that night.....care to go to the homecoming dance with a strapping lad?
Me: I'm not even discussing the dance until work gets done in this classroom!
Student: Sooooo, Miss _______, you're saying there's a chance.
AND SCENE.
Note: If you've never seen Dumb & Dumber, this may not be as humorous to you. If you haven't seen Dumb & Dumber, shaaaame, a plague on both your houses (R&J reference)! There were no words -- there are still no words. Little boys and their little minds.....they grow older, but stay, well, little.....with no "chance" of changing in sight.

Story #2 : Sigma Kappa Bern
Me: (class is finishing, day is ending) Everyone excited for the game tonight?
Student 1: Ahh, Miss _____, SKB is ready to run it! (Gangsters Super White Kid)
Me: Is that so? I dare ask how students these days "run it".....
Student 2: We started a high school frat, Sigma Kappa Bern, and it's super exclusive, we have a slogan, shirts and everything.
Me: Forget the false name, lack of membership, and even the measly amount of funds for your frat....the slogan and matching shirts completely justifies it, you're right!
Student 3: Well, it is legit, we do have a lot of members....I'm the President.....we have a place and everything.
Me: Reeeeeally? Where at?
Student 3: (very matter-of-factly, quite confidently) My dad's house.
Me: Gripping. At the risk of losing all respect for you guys....what is your slogan?
Student 1, 2, 3: (in unison): "We party harder than your slutty sister."
AND SCENE.
If their "sisters" are anything like the sorostitutes I've witnessed in college (disclaimer: you're not all that way!), then those high school boys party pretty damn hard.....what champs, what.........losers.

Story #3: Is teaching even real?!
Me: Alright, these outlines are the first big aspect to your senior project, so make sure you do them well.
Student: I have noooo idea what I even want to write about, this is the dumbest project ever.
Me: Regardless, it needs to be done, I myself did the same project.
Student: Proof it's pointless, you ended up back in the same spot.
Me: Oh I'm sorry, did teaching just lose all of its legitimacy in the career field? I missed that article on CNN.com I suppose.
Student: I didn't mean it like that, I mean, I just meant....
Me: (cutting said student off, using my best "soft little girl" voice) You, you just meant that my job is, is....worthless? (now move to a more serious tone) Have fun getting a teacher to help you graduate who is, by your sorry senior definition, "worthless" -- your transcript will look SO fab after failing English your senior year.
BOOM. & that's how you take down a 17 year old bitch -- that or confiscate her cellphone.


So, yes, the life of a teacher is hardly glamorous, but it certainly keeps me entertained, sometimes for the good....and sometimes for the greater (enter: bashing smart-ass teenagers on the daily). I look forward to collecting even more gems to share with you all. This has been another rousing installment of Teacher Rants.


Feel free to read last year's rants.....HERE.

Until next time, I'm off to go find the said CNN.com article that, oh that's right, doesn't exist.........

Sunday Funday Gameday

Ok, so Gameday isn't actually one word, but guess what, Funday isn't a word at all, so there!

I'm not sure if it's the uber-girl in me refusing to deter from all things glam, but I'm not the type who rocks a jersey and sweats on game days unless I'm at home in the comfort of my bed.
This post idea came to mind as I was visiting my alma-mater this weekend and saw a plethora of far too many bad outfit choices.

Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy supporting my team(s) during the weekend, even if it doesn't include an oversized jersey (I do own a kid's size PSU one that I rock under a cute jacket every so often, though!), so here are some outfits for you other girl-tastic ladies out there who want to show team spirit without looking like you stepped out of your boyfriend's/brother's/dad's closet!

I'm using PSU & Steeler colors....I mean, I'm not one to reveal my hometown or the state where I live (hello! most of you don't even know my name!), but this may or may not have just totally outed me. MAY OR MAY NOT, people.

we are......penn state!

#1 - Nautical meets equestrian meets PSU fan...a great pulled together look for an alumnus who doesn't want to blend in with the overly drunk juniors and seniors (and freshman and sophomores.....) but still show support for their favorite team.

#2 - Rainy game days are bound to happen, and most of the time they are cold. Add a sherling-lined jacket, wellies, and a cozy hat to keep warm but still look cool (yeah, I went there, cheese-tastic!)

#3 - A preppy look but with a boyish feel. Swap out the Sperrys for cute heels and toss the hat aside to transition this look into night.

& now for the city with more rings than yours ;)

#1 - For the fan who wants to play the card of, "Oh, there's a game today? And I already am sporting the colors? Well, go me!" When, in reality, you planned that shiz, be honest!

#2 - Again, another cold game day look. The boots, leather jacket, and leggings are always "tough chic" but the hat balances out the outfit to make you look like anything but a fairweather fan. (Cheese-tastic again!) Really, though, I need that hat!

#3 - This is similar to PSU's first look - a blazer and boots pull the look together, the t-shirt adds a casual feel, and the printed scarf shows your style still didn't go to the way-side just for game day's sake!

There you have it! Now you can use those same outfits and change in purple, blue, green or whatever your team colors may be -- they're casual and chic ways to show spirit without being like the rest of the crowd with their foam fingers and painted faces (or hairy painted stomach, vomit). It may be the (used to be) cheerleader in me who wore skirts while others wore homemade Hanes tees for the football games, but I like being put together even during football season. It's a southern thing usually, but I'm "making it weeerk" up here in the north ;)

Are you a PSU or Steelers fan? If not...then screw you. (kidding!)

As long as you don't hate my teams, we're still friends. 

Honestly, I am more of a college football gal than I am into the NFL shiz, but the more teams you "support", the more outfit ideas you can create ;)

Until next time, I'm off to bleed black and gold and blue and white.......that's a whole lot of colors bleeding together!

Secrets, Secrets are NO Fun....

...unless you share with everyone!

I may or may not use this phrase on a daily basis when I see students texting inside their purse (pah-lease, been there, done that!) or trying to whisper during an otherwise quietly working classroom (obvious much, dude?!) Today, though, I'm doing it as a fun little post to fill the gaps in my currently dull-blogging mind! My deepest apologies! These are not deep dark secrets...hello, this is on the WWW, bitches! Rather, these are more of mini confessions, small insights into my mind...let's dive in!

1. I read your--and update my own!--blog when kiddos are working on book work or projects or really anything that doesn't involve me teaching....GASP...what else am I supposed to do?! I also sometimes "pin" pictures of my dream wedding or man candy....or reply to personal emails...you know, super teacher-y stuff. Don't worry about the youth, I've got this covered, clearly!

2. I get mildly upset when I have to pay for my drink at Starbucks (bitch alert!) In case you're new or you only come to my blog to look at the pretty pictures (of the clothes, not me, duh!) and never read what I write then you may not realize my boyfriend works at the caffeine-driven-heaven-on-earth...which usually gets me a free drink...until it doesn't. Example: someone new is working and they say, "That'll be 4.82...." WHAT?! Since when? Oh, I don't know, since always. I've always been tempted to throw out the Hollywood phrase and say, "Do you not know who I am?!" but I just hand over my debit card and then text SSB later with, "Really?! I may just stop coming." What a threat bold-faced lie.

3. I am overly (overly) stoked about driving for three hours alone to visit my college this weekend. PSU what, what?! (Any fans? Any haters? OH, you best not be hatin'!) Three hours alone means three hours of any music I want to sing, as loud as I want to sing it, and cruise-control set on 80 75 70 the entire way since it's basically one main highway. Seriously, I relish those moments. I do it around my own town, sure, but there's always the off chance the person next to you witnessing the hot mess will also see you at the grocery store later in the week -- fail. Anyyyywho, Adele, Florence, Justin Beiber, the gang's all hereeee -- no worries, I won't videotape it for a vlog, I don't want to burn anyone's eyes or make ears bleed...I'm that caring ;) But seriously, three hours of judge-less karaoke, luh-ove!

4. I may be absolutely, positively broke (thanks college loan and credit cards), but have you seeeen the items of clothing at Old Navy right now? It's bizarre and uncanny but wonderful and my broke ass opened up a credit card there this week. If SSB is reading this (and for my own sake, I hope he isn't!), I'll never hear the end of this....but it had to be done. I could not pass up some of those tops and jeans....really, it'd just be rude to my wardrobe. Considering the site is currently down (lame!), I'll inform you of the items I purchased but cannot include photos....bummer. My favorite item is a cobalt blue "breezy" blouse -- gorgeous color & fit! I also bought a cream cable-knit sweater, fits wonderfully. I purchased "skinny retro flares" which are skinny until they hit arrrround mid-calf and then flare out...smaller than a bell-bottom but still give a great 70s feel to any outfit! Finally, I got a navy blouse with a ruffle front detail....great for PSU game weekends! Four items for $65 -- such great deals going on right now!

I think that about covers all of the reoccurring "secrets" in my mind. Do you have any to share? Plan on opening up an ON card, too, now? I don't blame you....they be picking up their street cred in the fashion department, fo' sho. Now they just need to work on those horrendous commercials!

I'm off to tend to actual teacher-y things now. Eh, who am I kidding, I'll probably just go on Pinterest during my free period, I won't lie to you!

Enjoy the rest of what this week has to offer. I can only hope you, too, have a judge-less karaoke day in your future ;)

If you're interested in a (maybe) new way to wear your favorite scarf, check out yesterday's "Wrapped Wednesday" -- one of my favorite ways to wear solid-colored scarves!

I will end this by saying goodbye & RIP to a "creative genius," Steve Jobs. SSB was terribly hurt by this news, seeing as how he is the biggest tech nerd I know (one of his charms).
Steve Jobs had a remarkable effect on the tech industry as a whole. His impact on the progression of personal electronics cannot be overstated and his too-soon departure leaves a hole no other person--or company--could fill. Condolences to his family, friends, and the co-workers who so rightly adore him as the behemoth behind Apple.

Until next time, farewell.........

Wrapped Wednesday

Wow, I have done it again....I've stuck to my guns and here you have another WW....I won't lie, feel pretty good I stuck with it this time around, but I won't get hasty on the celebration just yet, seeing as how this could fade faster than my first color job.

I chose this week's scarf because it probably was one of the founding fathers to my collection. I bought it simply because my friend back in high school told me it matched my eyes really well. Who can argue with a compliment?!....besides me when SSB gives one, that is, and he's trying to break me of the habit....

"You look really nice tonight!"
"Oh, so I suppose I looked like shit on our date the other night?!"
"Welp, I tried, let's just get in the car."
............or maybe he's just accepting defeat.

Anywho, it's a scarf from H&M and during my one dreaded semester in fashion school, I wore this sucker with almost everything...and it is one of the scarves I'd rock to bed, too (if this sounds odd, you can feel free to watch this video here for more of an explanation.) It became a wearable security blanket for me, it truly did.
I have many-a solid color scarves in the good ol' collection, but this one will always be my favorite, my go-to for a pop of something extra, and remind me of the time I tripped during a wind storm in college (the wind pushed me to fall!) and put a hole in the scarf....while the cross country boys ran past....god, I'm a walking disaster! I also would somehow get spaghetti sauce on this scarf all the time...and not notice until someone else did. Who eats that much spaghetti, honestly?! Me, I suppose. Hot mess.

I love pairing this scarf with:
--An all black outfit for that "pop" of something extra.
--A navy or teal sweater for a contrasting blue hue theme.
--A great tan blazer because I fucking love tan and blue....you should, too ;)

I usually just do the normal loop, but here's something slightly more fun to do with your solid-colored scarves:

1. Fold the scarf.
2. Warp around your neck.
3. Pull ONE of the ends through the loop.
4. Twist the looped portion.
5. Pull the other end through.

A different "twist" on the classic loop!



Do you have a wearable security blanket? I have a leather jacket I worship as well, but nothing compares to the wear-and-tear of this bad boy!

Until next time, farewell WW readers, I love you all (and so do my scarves!)..........

Returning to Neverland

Sure, Return to Neverland was a movie, but that tis not what we will be discussing here, so if you came across this page because you were searching on Google for this DVD for your kiddies, look elsewhere, my dear friend!


I have seen a certain trend coming back with a vengeance this season (after hours of pinning and reading magazine after magazine) and I am eager to try it out. It's the perfect mix of classic and girly, and I think when paired with the appropriate pieces, I can give this look an SS-approved androgynous feel, or even the ability to take it from day to night!

What IS she talking about, do you ask?
Peter Pan Collars.

Perhaps it is the perpetual child in me (I wrote this in a near identical tweet just days ago!) but I love myself some Peter Pan, despite his questionable sexuality and desire to surround himself with small children who live in a magical place that makes the plot even that much more...well, questionable. Regardless, this look is perfect for fall and winter (did SS actually just mutter that word?!), so here are some of my favorites, all thanks to Pinterest ;)

1. Peter Pan meets a Leopard...a title for a potentially fantastic musical and the description for this great nighttime look!
2. Peter Pan collars are great when they contrast using black and white...good for day or night.
3. An embellished collar is great to update this look and give it some edge...& the hat? Holy shit, amazing.
4. Add a leather skirt, black clutch, and wayfarers to be the ultimate Peter Pan badass!
5. Nothing looks sexier or quite as chic as this top mixed with flares...so on-trend for this season. (Glasses for extra sexy chic-ness!)
6. I want to steal this look for work. The burgundy skirt, the contrasting collar, luh-ove!

So there you have it, some collars that are more than SS-approved...it's perhaps the #1 look I'm lusting after this season. Forever 21 has a some great budget-friendly options if you're interested in snagging this look ASAP like myself! H&M probably has a PP collar or two at their store, as well, so happy hunting for your own personal Neverland look ;)

Oh, and one more thing that is entirely unrelated to Peter Pan or collars......my lips.
I bought a CoverGirl stain yesterday because, well, the marker applicator just looked so damn cute!
Too bad I bought it thinking it'd leave me with a subtle mauve stain for fall.....I got this instead.

{full blown red lips! like, BLOOD red.}

{had to include the MBMJ cover simply because, well, we matched...too well.}

Until next time, let's hop out of the magical land of small children and flying fairies (Tink is such a bitch, btw) -- farewell love bugs...............