Tuesday, October 18, 2011

SSRant : Failed Footwear

After seeing several shoes this season that I am absolutely in love with, it made me wonder if there are any styles I don't drool over. Then, I thought, "Well, you're SS, there has to be something to bitch about." Right you are, alter ego, so why not document my loathing(s) for your reading pleasure? I mean, chances are you'll cringe just as much....and run away in your well-chosen footwear.....I hope!

SS-PREFACES : There are exceptions to every rule in fashion & to every dislike I have in life. Take what I say as humor -- there are, undoubtedly, good choices in footwear that may fall under one of the following categories (except for #4 -- not budging there!), so feel free to inform me if you have found a fantastic pair of one of the following.

1. Square-Toe-Anything.  I do not care how old you are, there is no excuse to resort your feet to becoming squares -- after all, wasn't that a name for "lame" people back in the day? So then why would you want to be reminded of that by the shoes on your feet? Not a good look, a very dated one, to be exact!
{proof that even designers get it wrong - by Miu Miu shoes}

2. Kitten Heels. It may be the fact that I tripped down THIRTEEN stairs wearing these shoes one day (stupid mini heel and it catching on my wide leg pant!), but really, despite that fact, I never knew why I had a pair. I cringe at the look of them now. Nothing says, "I have no fashionable instincts" like a pair of kitten heels. They do nothing to flatter you. If all you want is just a bit of extra height, go for it, but just know you look way better at 5 feet tall with cute flats than you do with the extra one inch. I think there was a time and a place for these, but those times and those places are over. If you ever saw these on someone and thought they looked good, then I'm sure said woman was a super tall, super thin gal with skinny jeans and a blazer....she already looked so damn polished, her shoes weren't going to ruin her stride. No pun intended.

{can hardly stomach this photo. GAG.}

3. Small Wedges. I mean, if I don't like a small heel, what makes you think I'd like a small wedge? Let's be honest, I'm short. Why do I want anything small to highlight that fact? No, make it raaaain on this bitch with big heels and big wedges.....actually, don't, that would be painful. Nonetheless, you can probably pick up what I'm putting down. Small wedges look so "I'm in middle school/high school and want to have height but mom won't buy me big girl shoes yet." Sort of similar to #1, it doesn't date you, but rather un-dates you.....& we may want that kind of backtracking on our face (hello no wrinkles!) but not in our sense of style!

{really? I mean, just like your last boyfriend, you can do better!}

4. UGGS. I mean, the name is far too dangerously close to the word ugly and if you add an "h" to the end, you get the classic grunt of disapproval, so it goes without saying. Also, in another pet peeve fashion rant, I may have mentioned these bad boys when paired with denim skirts.....with good reason. I really cannot get behind this look. I get the idea behind them, I do -- comfort is great and I'm all for it, but these are so rounded, so uniform, they just are so unflattering! I really do think they ruin a perfectly good sense of personal style, no matter what you say, I will always think this. Sorry, hate me for hating these, but I cannot possibly deter. The only time I think these are acceptable is to shovel snow or play out in the snow, anything snow related......but then the material is not made for snow, so it's just ridiculous. Let's call the whole thing off ugg.

{proof that many Big Foot sightings have been seen....on just about any college campus.}

Why do I always do things in four? It's getting out of hand, but then again, I do have the roman numeral on my body, so it's basically ingrained in me to be this way. I can't control it, just accept it.

I hope you have some fashion footwear pet peeves you'd like to share so I'm not the only blogging bitch around these parts. I apologize if I offended you with my choices....then again, it's just my opinion, not like I'm proclaiming this as fact....unless, of course, you agree with me ;) hah

I hope you're all feverishly planning your spook-tacular Halloween outfits. I am still waiting to see mine, it's currently en route in the mail. Fingers crossed it's good enough...otherwise, I'm out of luck! Why must Halloween stores makes certain costumes "Online Only" -- I mean, it's terribly inconvenient!

Until next time, farewell to all my fashionable footwear females out there............


  1. As an Australian I'd just like to say, that I don't know how Ugg boots have become an everyday shoe. For most of my life everyone has worn them as slippers, and if you were desperate, maybe when you were just running to the supermarket!

    I'd also like to say that I have to disagree about small wedges! I agree kitten heels are a sin, but as someone who is 5'10, I feel like a monster when I wear high heels.
    Great post! And those Miu Miu shoes are hideous!

  2. I am a..sigh...an Ugg fan :) I have not worn mine around town for about 2 years but those things used to be a staple in my winter wardrobe. I cannot deny the comfort they brought me. I am completely with you on alllll the others. Especially, kitten heels blahk!

  3. lol, okay so immediately after I left your page I went to check refinery 29. This is what I saw :)


  4. I once saw a quote that kitten heels were the mullets of shoes :) Haha,I personally can't walk in them either

  5. I despise Kitten heels! Either go flat or go heel, there is no in between! Same goes for the mini wedge. But, unfortunately, I must admit I do own a pair of Uggs. Luckily, I have outgrown that phase and have moved onto a more sophisticated boot! Yay me! Great post!

  6. My biggest shoe peeve is guys that wear socks with sandals. I know one. It makes me cringe.
    I hate all the ones you posted.

    Except the Uggs.

    I can't help it, okay?! I have the Walmart knock-offs and they're SO warm and I love them with skinny jeans in cold weather. But I wore them in the snow last year and busted my ass SO bad. Not a snow shoe, Walmart, not a snow shoe.
    It also helps I love everything Australian.
    But I like my knock-offs; the actual Ugg price is INSANE.

    But, really, who the hell thought small wedges were a good thing. I have stumbled many a time in short wedges. Demon shoes.

  7. TOTALLY AGREE! I hate them in this order: small wedges are the least hated, followed by kitten heels, square toes, and then UGGS being my most hated shoe of all time. YUCK.

    I actually do have a pair of small-ish wedges that I bought to wear with a pair of work pants that were hemmed too much. They're not super small, though (2"), so I feel like they're OK, especially since I wear them to work, safely hidden under pants where nobody can see them.

  8. Nope. no UGGs for me. You are sooo right about seeing them on college campuses across the nation. 90% of the girls at my school: North Face fleece jackets/UGG boots. everyday! xoxo

  9. You crack me up woman! lol But seriously- is there any way we can broadcast this to more people so women everywhere will get the memo? This needs to be known. Kitten heels, small wedges, square toes, ugg boots- all must be done. Let's just all agree if you have any of these things, throw them away. Anonymously so we wont judge you. :P

  10. i laughed pretty hard reading these just now! lol, i agree with your choices, for the most part. snow boots are the comfiest thing invented, but i mostly save them for trips to the store and hanging out on my porch. we're not allowed to wear them to work so they don't get much time on my toes! and the short wedges... I own a pair of short sandal wedges that I actually LOVE. but i was pretty apprehensive about them in the first place. they're perfect for looking polished at work while not killing your feet on a 10 hour shift!

    but i respect your choices! :)

    sharde @ the style projects

  11. I agree with you so much on the three first points. I hate square pointed shoes, so ugly ! I would never wear kitten heels and I like my wedges as high as They can be ! I must confess that I like UGG boots but as a high heel shoes lover and collector I do not wear them often and I only do it when I need to wear something comfy. I mean I like to wear them but I do not abuse of them ! I like your style and blog and I wanna be your follower :). Hope you like my blog too and follow back !


  12. hahah love this.. and totally agree on the square toes and uggs!
    thanks so much for stopping by my blog! love yours and now following :)


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