The Day AFTER a Red Carpet.......

......everyone becomes a critic!

I am here today to only talk about the dresses I adored, though, and will leave out the ones I could have done without. WHAT is our fashion/celebrity world coming to when there was not a single dress I completely despised? Sure, I didn't love all of the looks, but I never once had to gag or spit out of my drink in shock of someone..........

unless you count Ryan Seacrest getting ashed by the Dictator. Yowza......

{More so than the Dictator, I couldn't stand the bitches next to him....

they looked like they had sticks up their asses and their makeup just

highlighted their botox and overtanned skin. YIKES!}

First and foremost, though, all ashes aside, here is my FAVORITE look of the night.......

Jessica Chastain

{She looked amazing. Her hair and jewelry and skintone matched the dress perfectly. I may be biased because it's an Alexander McQueen gown and it was custom-made by Sarah Burton (win-win-win-wiiiin), but no one can deny this look is flawless. If you don't agree, I really don't know if we can continue being friends in this way. Jessica killed it with edge in a sea of dresses that, while great, were not "wow" factors for me.}

My girl, as always, did a fantastic job. I loved her little stint on the stage while presenting more, though. COULD she be any cuter? I think not. Girl crush established. She is just too flipping cool.

Emma Stone

{I didn't love the dress at first but after a bit of time seeing it on her more and more, it grew on me fast. I think it helped that her hair looked great, too. Had she worn it down or even half-up, it would have killed the look for me. Thankfully, mah girl knows what's up and pulled out a show-stopppaahh!}

Other greats looks include some one-shoulder bizzznisss.....

Stacy Keibler, Milla Jovovich, Rose Byrne

Fiiinne, I'll admit this just once...Stacy is an attractive broad. Done. She doesn't need more compliments...she has Georgy freaking Clooney on her arm. 

Milla looks fabulous pairing her red lip to a white/cream gown...old Hollywood meets a bit of edge (simply because it is Mila!)

Rose Byrne's sleek hair with the sequined gown and open back just exuded class with sass...the best of both worlds! (Still not better than her jumpsuit, though, loved that look).

Who were some of your favorites? Did you have any that you completely hated? I really wanted to like Shailene Woodley's dress, but it just didn't work for me. Great dress....just not for her. HUGE, huge improvement from her SAG Awards disaster dress, though! 

Also, Angelina....just stop. You're making EVERYONE look bad. Seriously. Stop the madness.

All of the Bridemaids looked pretty darn good. I didn't love all of their looks, but I can't deny that they looked polished and put together and showed effort in their overall appearance. Kudos!

Until next time, I am sad to see awards season go, but at least it stops making the rest of us look that much worse in comparison to Hollywood Elite..........................................

Five Friday...Teacher Attire

As I sit here with a white trash combo of Chardonnay and a splash of ginger ale (I know, I scream classy) I feel like I should blog and write about something.....

......but I got nothing. (except for saying this is obvi a scheduled post, seeing as how I am not drinking on the job before 8am.....OR am I?)

I could blame many, many things on my lack of blogging, but really, I have nothing for you that would be anything but a sorry, lame excuse. Also, I still cannot find my damn camera cord, and taking iPhone photos is getting ooooold, so I have pulled what creative juices I have left and re-created my work attire for you in Polyvore form. Most of these include at least one actual piece from my outfits this past week (including today's) and all of the outfits are virtually the exact same in terms of style, color, fit, and overall look. Polyvore, you're too damn good!

Indulge....and Happy {Five} Friday!

Monday - We had an in-service full of meetings and no kiddos. Time to play it super casual! & those are actually the new boots I got (Jessica Simpson), super cute!

Tuesday - I honestly never wear pink, but somehow, my new hot pink blouse from F21 is a fast favorite! I felt so pulled together while still feeling on trend. Even the kiddos complimented me on the color -- they have their cute moments after all. I was feeling extra festive, too, so I added bright F21 rings to finish off the look!

Wednesday - LOVE myself a good wrap dress. You cannot go wrong with a good black and red combo...comfortable but still professional, best of both worlds! Target (where my red wrap dress is from) is a great place to search for cute and affordable work clothes!

Thursday - I am one of the advisers for our SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions) club and 2/23 was "Purple Day" in order to raise awareness and show support against teen dating violence. This purple tee was only $7 from Old Navy....such a cute color for spring! I had on a scarf that had the exact same blue and purple tones as this Missoni one, too! Something about a maxi dress and my cropped F21 white/black color blocking blazer pulled the whole outfit up to an extremely professional level, despite the casual t-shirt. SUCH a comfortable outfit, too!

Friday - Even though we are allowed to wear jeans on Friday, I always dress up my top half with a blazer or nice blouse so I don't blend in too much with the kiddos. My Aldo booties are still my favorite and the kiddos love 'em, too, oddly enough!

I try to keep my outfits balanced between cute/trendy and business/professional. My students always ask where I find all of my clothes, and little do they know MOST come from stores they shop at.....like F21 and Old Navy. Yeah, bitches, I'm just that crafty ;) Make it werrrk, sistah!

Have a fabulous weekend, enjoy yourselves! I'll leave you with my latest purchase/splurge and a photo of me and Mr.SSB from our Valentine's Day weekend dinner (where we hit up da club afterwards to meet his friends.....yeah, we keep it real...and sweaty).

Until next time, I'm off to enjoy my own weekend and relish in all the beauty that is the END of February.....................

Love's Hangover Remedy

Even though your Valentine's Day roses are already wilting and your heart-shaped candy box has been in the trash since, oh, 9:30am last Wednesday (I don't judge), the love is still in the air....and it's only proper for a blogger to grab that air, breathe it in.....and then write about it.

Or do her best to show said love in black & white photos of only the hottest pieces of ass in town!....or, uh, in LA town, not this town, as I'm usually surrounded by 16-18 year olds who think they are hot but are actually small, small babies with even smaller maturities.

I am not usually one to gush over celebrities, because I have class, dignity, and am in a loving relationship with SSB.
Unless you count John Mayer. I've lost all class when it comes to dishing about this piece of meat. Too bad he's a huge bag of douche now....still hot, though.


WHO else is hot in my eyes? (but not as hot as SSB, in the off chance he is reading this!!) WELL, I will show you....in black & white photos. Everyone looks better in black & white and men look sexier in black & white, so let's get down to biznizz! 
WARNING: With this post, I have claimed stake to all of the following gentlemen. If, at any time, they become available for you to date, please inform them that you will be unable to accept their loving gesture because I, SS bitch, have already called dibs.....so send them my way, if you would be so kind ;)

1. James Dean (claiming him for the after-life, clearly) -- WHAT a stud. The start of all studs. He made it possible for men like James Franco, Johnny Depp and Justin Bobby (of The Hills fame) to look dirty and somehow still have ridiculous sex appeal. Applause are neccessary for this fine ass.

2. Joseph Gordon-Levitt -- I meeeeean, does this need justification? No. It really doesn't. This man is near perfection, end of story. Sings, acts, dresses well, acts like a gentlemen, stars in romantic movies and blockbusters (like the upcoming Batman). So yes, he is our closest human being to perfection. Smell it, take him in, he's a breathe of perfect summer air (see what I did there?!)

3. Andrew Garfield -- Okay, I really do need to claim stake on this one, as he isn't huge yet but will be soon enough....once his Spiderman movie comes out. He has great taste in women, too, because his arm candy is none other than my girl crush, Emma Stone. Well played, hunky hunk, well played!

4. Paul Rudd -- Call me unconventional here, but he has some odd quirk that I really enjoy (that's what she said). His humor is dry, his hair is dark, and his smile is just that adorable smirk that makes you wonder if he's an asshole or if he just is laughing at the rest of us for being schmucks & suckers to his charm. Ado-able....I mean adorable!

 

Other notable men include: John Mayer (bears repeating!), Ryan Gosling (obvious), Robert Pattinson (vampire love), and the classic stylings of George Clooney (gold medal for silver fox status). Yummo in my tummo of man love!

Let it be known that I do not condone the behavior of treating people like meat. After all, Johnny Depp said it best in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory. "....even I am eat-able, but that is considered cannibalism and is frowned upon in most countries." BOOM!
Really, though, I mean this all in good fun. SSB is an asshole, but in the most loving way possible.
& sure, these men are fantastic, but I obviously do not want to come across like a woman who charges after men like a starved panther. That's just wrong.....and I'm much more like a calm barracuda, just ask SSB!
For more man candy, though, follow my boards on Pinterest -- woot, woot!

Until next time, share your man candy with me so we can all drool.....................

Five Friday...Who is Boner-vair?!

I realize that the Grammy awards were a few days ago (or almost an entire week ago), so this post may be a tad late, but this is my blog, sooooo let me be lazy and eat my lazy cake, too, kay?!

I am not here to ramble on and on about the great and not-so-great fashions (YES to Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood for fabulous dresses and NO to Nicki Minaj for just....no), but rather, I want to discuss what the Grammys are truly about.....YESH, sir, it's time for an SS musical ssss-nack time ;)

After reading a tumblr page completely dedicated to poking fun at this artist, I thought to myself, "How on earth am I one of the (apparent) few who not only know of this man, but thoroughly enjoy his music?!" I meeeean, it made sense when momma and poppa bear asked me who the gruffly man was on SNL a couple weeks back, but youngsters like us? Shenanigans!


PLEASE, for the love of all that is music, take a few minutes and listen to the following songs from one of my favorites, BON IVER (pronounced bonnyvare or bone-E-vair)......you know, that bearded dude who won best new artist this past Sunday.
Fun Fact #1: His song "Skinny Love" is under the top ten most played songs on my iTunes since adding his first two albums to my iPod in 2009. Yes. He is winning best new artist nearly three years later. Again, shenanigans. Wasn't the Gaga-ster up for it last year? Those silly Grammys!
Fun Fact #2: His song "Woods" is featured in Kanye West's song "Lost in the World" -- a fantastic song, so check it out here!

Warning: Do not listen to Bon Iver if you don't appreciate the slower, more melodic tones (no, I'm not being sarcastic). Honestly, his music may bore some to tears (like SSB) but enlighten others (like me). He has the voice to make me cry in the shower and rejoice in the pleasure of a sunny day.....all in the same album. He's true, raw talent, no gimmicks included, which is why he was a great choice to win this year. (Still love my girl Nicki, but I could have done without the odd performance.....)

For FIVE FRIDAY, here are five great songs by the ever-so-enchanting Bon Iver....

Skinny Love

The Wolves (Act I and II)

re:stacks

Calgary

Beth/Rest

If you were lazy and couldn't click play on any of these songs (shaaame, they're SO good!!), go pull out your best pirate impression (see what I did there?!) and get all of his albums: Blood Bank (EP), For Emma Forever Ago, and Bon Iver. I promise, if you love music that is slower and overflowing with feeling, you will not be disappointed in the slightest!


Until next time, please let me know what you think of Mr. Bon Iver (or Justin Vernon) AND inform me of any artist that you love so I can check them out...................

Another Reason to Hate February!

Hello dear readers and friends, how are we doing today? Are you in the full swing of hating life all because of those dreaded winter blues? Well, let's talk about the mean reds, shall we? (Breakfast at Tiffany's  reference, anyone?!) I meeeean, what happens in February about, oh, half way through the month? A day where we're supposed to profess our love to whomever with cards and homemade mailboxes? Oh....we aren't 10 anymore? Well then, shit, this holiday sucks!

I am not the anti-Valentine's Day gal because I've never had one. In fact, I always have....which isn't bragging in the slightest if you've met half the guys I dated (SSB not included, relax). I just never understood the holiday because I show lah-ving 24/7, so long as the rest of the world isn't being a bag of douche and forcing me to turn into the bitch I usually am.

However, we (being me and the BF, duh) still celebrate the holiday, and SSB and I will be doing so by eating a ton of red meat and guzzling down plenty of red wine (I'll take one for the team here), so we're totes in the spirit to celebrate the mean reds during this oh-so festive holiday! WHAT TO WEAR then? Let's discuss........

I am rocking a fitted black dress from H&M that does way too good of a job of giving me a curvy top half and a whittled waist (but nowhere near as disgusting as that gal with the 20" waist.....gag). I plan on wearing a cream cropped jacket with black trim that gives a bit of a Chanel feel but at an H&M price. Fun Fact: For any "big" date SSB and I have had, I have worn an H&M dress. How about them apples?! Anywho, find a dress that is sexy but still classy, because you want your man (or your flavor of the moment) to see you as a force to be reckoned with......and you just look sleazy and cheesy (and too downright easy) in a dress too short or in a too-bold print. Stick to neutrals, solids, and polished shoes. You're dressing for your date, not the rest of the world, and it is best to keep it demure and subtle if you're going to a nicer place.

If there was ever a time to invest in a fabulous apron, now would be the time! Wear a classic v-neck or cardigan,  throw on some dark skinnies, great flats, and find the cutest damn apron out there! Buy him one, too, to make the night that much more fun. Cooking together is a great way to commemorate the holiday; buy the heart-shaped cookie cutters, make food that is red or pink (spaghetti?!) and go all out in the cheesiest way possible. Finish the night with cute satin PJs (Victoria's Secret has the best) and watch the cheesiest love movie you can find! (SSB would never let that last part slide....and confession: I loathe The Notebook. I know....but it's just too sad!)

Some girls try to play the "it's about you" card and do something fun for their man.....even if they'd rather let their pup eat their favorite pair of heels than go to a hockey game on Valentine's Day. Regardless, if you are one of these gals, best to dress cute so you can at least look good while being miserable. Check out my post HERE on some great sporting event outfits. As for the ice skating bullshit (kidding), it's a great idea so long as you don't mind freezing. Wear a great winter coat and a bright scarf that brings out, I don't know, the color of your eyes...or the rosiness of your frozen cheeks (on your face, dolls.....) It's February after all, and if you're located in the north or east this month, the most important part is to stay warm...but still look gaw-ghus doing it!

"Forget men, let's just put our pocketbooks on the floor and just dance, screw guys, I just wanna dance!" Dane Cook had it right when he made this joke years ago. Some gals prefer to just hit up the town all-BFF-style over the holiday weekend and rightfully so! Wear the hottest jeans you have with that great blouse/top....you knowwww, the one that makes the girls look good but not like you're suffocating them....just the perfect balance to create that comment from your BFF that is something like....."Woah, when did she become so hot? I'm jealous.....she's going to dance with so many more guys than me. Bitch....." Add a blazer or leather jacket to offset the fact your girls will be freezing and top (or bottom?!) it off with the tallest black heels or wedges you own. OR the red heels that everyone else thinks are questionable but somehow become totally appropriate for this specific night!
(Funny Side Story.....one of the classes at my school had Mock Trials. The girls were told to look professional, like something their mother or grandmother would wear. One girl came in wearing the most offensively tight, short black skirt with HOT PINK 5-inch heels. It's a shame when your shift at the local 18&under club runs into, oh, 7:30am! Yikes.....)


What are you planning for your holiday/holiday weekend? Fill me in, I'd love to hear it. I leave you with some last-minute tips on keeping your hair and makeup just as festive as the rest of you this holiday ;)


HAIR AND MAKEUP TIPS
**Bring out the red lips if you're out with the girls....stick with a soft stain if you'll be smooching the man.
**A great pink cheek against a nice winter face is always in style. Use a bit of creme blush under a powder to help it set and last all night!
**Try putting hot rollers in your hair while doing your makeup or choosing your outfit. Flowing hair with a bit of bend and curl is perfect for the occasion. Not too stuffy but still romantic and fun! Be sure to hairspray the hell out of it with flexible hairspray, too!

Alright, put cupid's arrow in my ass, I'm done talking about this holiday!


Until next time, farewell love bugs and blogger valentines.................................

You Look Smash*ing, Dear!

It may be the teacher in me, but I suuuure do love me some organization!
I also drool over the Erin Condren planners just as much as the next girl....

BUT I am not about to spend $50 on a planner that isn't exactly what I want.
That makes me sound like a bitch....but what I mean is, don't you also love when your planner is unique to you?
Then perk up and listen about my new purchase that is smash-ing if I do say so myself ;)


SMASH Journals (not a journal at all, though, sorry Judy Blume types)

I was out at different craft stores with my sister and momma bear to look at wedding supplies (for my sister, not me, silly ones) when I saw this section of "scrapbooking" items that ended up being filled with all of these goodies:

{all of the items before tearing them open and crafting --

how freaking adorable, am I right?!}

They have over four different types of "journals" to choose from. I myself got the "pretty style" but others include "eco" or "retro" which are other great options. The pages are filled with random drawings, cardstock in different print, and different "titles" -- it's more or less an organizer for your life rather than a day-to-day planner with calendars. I posted some photos of the pages below:

{the bottom right photo is one of the pockets I bought --

comes in a set of four & you can glue them in with the

attached glue stick! & of course I added the cute polka-dot tape!}

The great thing about this company is that a ton of accessories come with it (well not with the book, but for the book you can buy separately)....and if you don't already know, I have a slight problem when it comes to accessories. You can buy tabs, post-its, pockets, and other items to make this "planner" your own....and all of them are so damn cute. I chose some solid tabs, others with designs, and two straps that keep the book compact when in your bag.....this is how mine looks when closed:

{I chose to use the black&white closing strap -- 

OH and those are my keys for my classroom....also cute.}

SO how is this book unique? Well, I wrote on a bunch of different tabs, glued them in with the pen/glue stick that comes with your chosen style of journal and made it entirely my own. I even took a piece of paper from the "pad" I bought for it and made a nice little label on the inside:

{very circus-like, love the old-timey feel!}

I chose to create tabs for things I always tell myself I will write down.....but never do. What is that you may ask? Well, an exercise page, a section for books I want to read, an "important" things to do page, and even a goals page that I have been meaning to start fo'eva now! Some of those pages look like this:

{tabs include sayings like "exercize is power" and "2 read is 2 learn" --

love how you can write whatever you want for the tabs!}

So, like I said, this is the planner/journal/organizer for the gal who already has a day-to-day calendar -- OH, and I should note that I found all of this at Michael's Craft Store after seeing it at Jo-Anne Fabrics first and it was cheaper AND 20% off......meaning ALL of the goods you saw in the first photo were $24 total. YES. I kid you not, of course, because that would just be mean.
The 20% deal runs until the 20th of February at my local Michael's, so you should run (not walk) to the closest one to you and grab these goods! I plan on going this weekend again to get even more tabs and fun items for my book.
If you decide to do the same, please post photos and let me know! I was beyond excited to bring all of my items home to make my customized book and I hope you have just as much fun with yours :)


It should go without saying, but this is not a sponsored post. I was just that excited about this new find! If you're more of an online type, check out this site to search for your own goods ;) ALSO check out their blog for some ridiculously awesome inspiration on how others have made their SMASH books entirely unique to them! (It is truly amazing....)


Until next time, I'm going to go and write down goals or draw some awesome doodles, have yourself a fantastic weekend................