Even though your Valentine's Day roses are already wilting and your heart-shaped candy box has been in the trash since, oh, 9:30am last Wednesday (I don't judge), the love is still in the air....and it's only proper for a blogger to grab that air, breathe it in.....and then write about it.
Or do her best to show said love in black & white photos of only the hottest pieces of ass in town!....or, uh, in LA town, not this town, as I'm usually surrounded by 16-18 year olds who think they are hot but are actually small, small babies with even smaller maturities.
I am not usually one to gush over celebrities, because I have class, dignity, and am in a loving relationship with SSB.
Unless you count John Mayer. I've lost all class when it comes to dishing about this piece of meat. Too bad he's a huge bag of douche now....still hot, though.
WHO else is hot in my eyes? (but not as hot as SSB, in the off chance he is reading this!!) WELL, I will show you....in black & white photos. Everyone looks better in black & white and men look sexier in black & white, so let's get down to biznizz!
WARNING: With this post, I have claimed stake to all of the following gentlemen. If, at any time, they become available for you to date, please inform them that you will be unable to accept their loving gesture because I, SS bitch, have already called dibs.....so send them my way, if you would be so kind ;)
1. James Dean (claiming him for the after-life, clearly) -- WHAT a stud. The start of all studs. He made it possible for men like James Franco, Johnny Depp and Justin Bobby (of The Hills fame) to look dirty and somehow still have ridiculous sex appeal. Applause are neccessary for this fine ass.
2. Joseph Gordon-Levitt -- I meeeeean, does this need justification? No. It really doesn't. This man is near perfection, end of story. Sings, acts, dresses well, acts like a gentlemen, stars in romantic movies and blockbusters (like the upcoming Batman). So yes, he is our closest human being to perfection. Smell it, take him in, he's a breathe of perfect summer air (see what I did there?!)
3. Andrew Garfield -- Okay, I really do need to claim stake on this one, as he isn't huge yet but will be soon enough....once his Spiderman movie comes out. He has great taste in women, too, because his arm candy is none other than my girl crush, Emma Stone. Well played, hunky hunk, well played!
4. Paul Rudd -- Call me unconventional here, but he has some odd quirk that I really enjoy (that's what she said). His humor is dry, his hair is dark, and his smile is just that adorable smirk that makes you wonder if he's an asshole or if he just is laughing at the rest of us for being schmucks & suckers to his charm. Ado-able....I mean adorable!
Other notable men include: John Mayer (bears repeating!), Ryan Gosling (obvious), Robert Pattinson (vampire love), and the classic stylings of George Clooney (gold medal for silver fox status). Yummo in my tummo of man love!
Let it be known that I do not condone the behavior of treating people like meat. After all, Johnny Depp said it best in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory. "....even I am eat-able, but that is considered cannibalism and is frowned upon in most countries." BOOM!
Really, though, I mean this all in good fun. SSB is an asshole, but in the most loving way possible.
& sure, these men are fantastic, but I obviously do not want to come across like a woman who charges after men like a starved panther. That's just wrong.....and I'm much more like a calm barracuda, just ask SSB!
For more man candy, though, follow my boards on Pinterest -- woot, woot!
Until next time, share your man candy with me so we can all drool.....................