Friday, September 2, 2011

Fall Fahion F*ck-Ups

With all the wonder and beauty of fall, you have to be a tad curious where all the ugliness goes. Perhaps it's hidden under the crumpled leaves in your driveway or even behind the boxes with your light, summery apparel, but you could just stop searching and look on some of the runways.....there, you'll see an array of beauty meeting.....beasts.

Why write post after post on awesome fall fashion when I can hone in on the horrid travesties that went down some of the runways for our viewing entertainment? Let's hop right to it, shall we?

Preface : I am not degrading, defacing, or any other de-action to any of the designers and/or models mentioned below. In fact, I like most--if not all!--of the designers, but even the brightest star can flicker out, if only for a moment....a moment we can catch and document on SS ;)

1. Michelin Man's Golden Girlfriend
Do I even need to explain the problem here? In case you didn't already have linebacker shoulders, let's add the "rounded shoulder" silhouette to a spray-painted bag that could hold about four car tires and call it a dress. While we're at it, let's ruin some poor girl's modeling book with this blown-up catastrophe. Her parents must be so proud of their daughter who left high school prematurely to only be left looking like this. This model must have been thrilled when she saw she got to wear this gem, but at least now the Michelin Man can find love.
Dress, Stella McCartney

2. Pain is not always Beauty
Dear gawwwd, this hurts just looking at it. I have never been into the choker look, and even with it coming out in a big (literally) way, I still just can't get behind this look, and I really can't get behind this particular travesty. Not exactly the most flattering photo, sure, but I don't think that's the issue here. The issue is that the "style" of women wearing necklace upon necklace to make their necks longer (history lesson!) is just as long gone as their long necks. I think. I mean, I haven't seen those women on the National Geographic in awhile, anyways. Regardless, this necklace just puts me at a loss for words, into a choke hold in the name of fashion.....I'm gasping for air.
Choker, Emanuel Ungaro

3. The Abonimal Snowman [sort of] Exists.....
I don't even know what to say other than it appears that a 70s disco girl was eaten alive by some furry forest creature who decided to wear her clothes to hide the evidence. I don't even like the mixed-bag of fabric going on, either, so both the eaten-alive girl and this forest troll have terrible taste in retro fashion. You can't blame "it" for wearing those shades, though, because you have to hide behind something when the rest of you is an open-everyone-look-at-this-train-wreck-mess.
Duster, Just Cavalli

4. Fire or Puke? Or BOTH?!
This look has the potential to be a knockout. Right now, in its current runway state, it's more like someone just tried to knock you out and instead left you winded and dry-heaving. I just painted a love-el-ly picture for you, you're welcome ;) Honestly, though, the fit is horrendous, the print is garish, and the dragons --wait, ARE they even dragons?!--look like they are spitting out who-knows-what instead of their trademark fire. The shorts are a bit too sheeny-shiny for this look, and the white shirt underneath just reminds me of how women still wear ill-fitting tops that are too short and try (and fail) by pairing it with a button-up underneath. I think I may start dry-heaving now. At least the shoes save what VERY little dignity this outfit has left. Change the silhouette of the sweater, kill one of the dragons, give the remaining dragon some actual fire, pair with a simple pair of dark cigarette jeans and rich brown boots and you may have saved this disaster....maybe.
Crewneck Sweater, Carven

[All photos courtesy of]

There you have it, even fall fashion has to have a few dead leaves. I assure you I will post more in the name of good fall fashion soon enough, but why not start it off with a good chuckle?

Hope you're ending you week on a great note and that you thoroughly enjoy this holiday weekend. I have no real plans, except for red velvet wine and netflix once this after-school nanny shift is complete!

Until next time, farewell love bugs....


  1. 1 is like a floating balloon. 2 is just too big. 3 and 4 is kinda ok haha ^^

  2. What the fuuuuck? LOL, these are a hoot. I never understand why runway stuff looks so outrageous!

    - Britt


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