Thursday, May 19, 2011

F*CKED Fashion...yep, I said it!

I have seen a couple posts as of late about pet peeves, whether it be in the beauty department or even just in general. I just did a big beauty post (look below) so I figured it might be fun to post some fashion pet peeves. Complaining about something so trivial and quite meaningless also helps me blow off steam from a stressful week. THANKFULLY, the kiddos have off tomorrow and I only have to work from 8am-1pm judging (yes, judging) senior projects...yep, the life of a teacher is tres glam, I know!

NOTE/WARNING: If you are easily offended, you probably don't want to read this. I'm nothing if not brutally abrasive, but I do it all in good fun. I have no specific human being(s) in mind when writing this and I'm not trying to offend anyone by explaining my pet peeves. Relax, life is meant to be enjoyed. Continue if you wish....

To all the bitches who think that they can squeeze into the clothes they wore before birth control or the freshman fifteen plagued them drive me insane. No, I'm not telling you to lose weight or even that you're overweight, but FIT is everything when it comes to looking presentable to the world. Try to remember this when you (or someone you know) is trying to wear the god-awful buttoned shirt that shows more lumps than Grandma's horrendous mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving. This photo should instantly make you feel uncomfortable; this side effect is normal and should pass once people learn how to dress PROPERLY.

Who EVER thought it would be a good idea to take an already heinous pattern and put white slahes through it? "OH, I know! We can just make it look cut into, it's genius." NO, it's actually idiotic on another level. I also want to know what is going on in the minds of the girls who tell their friends in the dressing room, "Yesssss, girlfrannn, this top/dress is going to bring allll the boys tonight on the dance floor....get it hunnay!" She's wearing a shirt that looks like someone accidently bleached an Ed Hardy pattern....the only thing she'll be bringing to the dance floor are the actual  Ed Hardy adorned men...and who wants a guy who wears bedazzled dragons all over his shirt with cursive writing that he can't even read because his big muscles stretch it out....on purpose. Just stop. There's no subliminal message for this look aside from "If you wear this, you're secretly showing everyone your IQ is lower than how much you paid for that outfit."

I saw this look so much in college I wanted to gauge my eyes out. Who wants to take a dress and make it flowy on the top and all of a sudden have it suck their thighs only highlighting the fact that you're already starting to have cellulite (hey, we're all human!) I'm not sure if it's worse on the girls who almost fall into fashion faux #1 or on the nearly anorexic gals who wear it without the banded part even hugging their invisble curves, so it just hangs awkwardly, only showing how much you desperately need to entire cow. This also makes you just look cheap. No designer with any sense of dignity is going to take an ill-fitting dress such as this and make it in mass quantites ("Keep 'em cominggggg - all colors and patterns!!") I actually just saw a girl wear this style of dress with the subliminal pattern all throughout. It's amazing I didn't vomit gin and tonic all over her. I almost wish I had. I'd be doing the bitch a favor! There are cute variations of this, but the banded dresses I have in mind are very much like the one in the photo where the band is thin and skinny, not wide like a full skirt.

If you can't afford it, then just don't buy it. A classic, simple bag (even if it is made of fake leather) is better than rocking a goach (gucci and coach mashup) or any other fake bag. They come from places where children are slaving to make them. For what? So you can tell your friends you bought the cuuuutest...knockoff? Just listen to that last statement. Yeah, it sounds absurd. So are you for carrying that fake. Even if it looks real, what's the point? You're fabulous without needing a fake Coach bag to tells others that. Seriously, just stop! Most fake designer bags just look cheap as hell, and I'm looking out for don't want to look like a cheap hooker or 10 cent whore, do you? Good, put the bag down and back away from the fakeness. More often than not, too, I'm annoyed by the real bags that are covered in patterns. I'm not a patterned bag girl, end of story. The fake aspect of designer bags annoys me much more than the real bags with faaaaar too many patterns, though!

Denim skirts usually signify the start of summer for a lot of girls, so why does a winter boot need to be added to spring/summer attire? Sure, a good cowboy boot or something of that nature is justfiiable, but fur-lined boots with a denim skirt? GAG. It looks very childish to me, but perhaps that's because I work in a high school setting where some (not all!) girls have yet to figure out their whole high school career has been a fashion disaster so they rock this look constantly. I cannot stand the sight of these two paired together....if it's hot, fur is not acceptable. If it's cold, why the hell are you wearing a denim skirt? Unacceptable, end of story!

I only have five to rant about. There is surely more that drive me bonkers, but I'll stop it at five. Speaking of five, I'm changing my "Five Friday Facts" to just "Five Friday" where I'll say, show, or explain five things....topic changing weekly. Seems a bit more interesting, a bit more exciting....a bit more...whatever. So I apologize in advance for having back-to-back posts that boast a whole lot of five!

What are YOUR pet peeves when it comes to fashion. Do you agree/disagree with any of mine? Let me know!


  1. OMG agreeed! Especially Uggs with skirts or dresses! I see that ALL the time. SO annoying. I hate when girls have their gut hanging over their jeans & then a skin tight shirt! Like how can you feel comfortable walking around like that! I mean I have a gut and I could never walk around like that.I wear the appropriate clothes to hide it.

  2. #1: Leggings as pants. THEY ARE NOT PANTS.
    #2: Gymwear outside the gym/dance studio/fitness class/privacy of your own home. I do not want to see anyone's sweats (be they lululemons, sean john or costco brand) unless they happen to be sleeping or sweating into them. There is nothing more offensive than when I sit down at my table in a respectable restaurant, and the person at the next table hasn't even bothered to change into real clothes. Stay home if you want to be that comfortable.
    #2: Crocs. 'Nuff said.

  3. Bahahahaha love it! you've just posted my top 5 peeves! hilarious! love it! thanks for posting what were all thinking! x


    One of my biggest gripes is fake designer bags and accesories. We all know it's fake so what's the bloody point?

  5. love this post!
    biggest hate is:
    jeggings- they are leggings- NOT JEANS
    people who wear jogging bottoms tucked into ugg boots-maybe this is just in the UK but it makes me want to gouge out my eyes!
    following xxxx

  6. Hey There! Thank you for following my blog and after reading this post, I'm definitely following yours!
    I agree completely with you on every single last one of your fashion pet peeves, especial #1 because I am a fuller-sized girl and I make sure that when I buy something or leave the house that nothing is hanging out or seem just a little too tight for comfort and when other girls do this, even girls who are much skinnier than I am, they still look horrendous and I wonder what makes them think they can seriously pull that off! Oh and the whole skirt with uggs thing I still don't get either, if it's hot enough top wear a skirt, why the heck are they wearing ugg boots?
    Loved this post! You inspired me to do one of my own and if I do I'll be sure to link back to you for the idea!

  7. HATE THE WHITE STRIPED LOOKS! Looks so incredibly cheap!


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